In the heat of the campaign season it’s time again for “Carl The Campaign Coach”.
“WPOL on your dial. 1176 on your FM dial, all political radio…. all politics, all the time. (Deep announcer voice:) “And now it’s time for your favorite campaign consultant brought to you this week by grant from the Foundation Foundation —
“Carl, The Campaign Coach”, with tips, tricks, tactics, and trade secrets from the world of political campaigns.”
“The advice you hear on the “Carl, The Campaign Coach” radio show is provided for entertainment purposes only, and should not be construed as actual campaign advice for any local, state, or national campaign. No listeners of content from this show, clients or otherwise, should act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included on the show without seeking the appropriate professional campaign advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from an actual campaign consultant with an office on State Street in Trenton, K Street in DC, or across the street from any state house in any state capitol in the country. “Carl the Campaign Coach” and his legal representatives expressly disclaims all liability in respect to actions taken or not taken based on any or all the contents of his radio program.”
“And now, Carl The Campaign Coach….”
“Hey folks, this is Carl, The Campaign Coach with tips and tricks, ideas and innovations—-magnificent media for the masses and the mediocre—all for your local, state or national campaigns. Let’s get down to business.”
“Our first letter is again from ‘Barry from D.C.’, who has a neat story to tell us. Apparently, Barry who did win his race for office, tells us he has been recognized with a very ‘prestigious international award’. Barry says, ‘Thanks Carl for all your advice. Your counsel helped me be recognized and receive an award named for this guy who was an armaments manufacturer and the inventor of dynamite. Lots of folks think that I did not deserve the award, ‘cause I have only been in office a few months. Maybe they still don’t like me. My question is, should I accept the award?’
Barry, great question. I think you should definitely accept the award. And remember what you promised when elected. Maybe accept this award as a call to action—to really work for that which you were elected to do, and accept the award for all your constituents.”
“Our next letter comes from ‘Chris of Mendham, NJ’.
Chris writes, ‘I am in the middle of my campaign race, and my opponent comes out and called me ‘fat’. Well, he did not really call me ‘fat’, but he showed pictures of me that were very unflattering in his campaign pieces. Now, I may have a bit of a weight problem, but I think this was wrong. My feelings are hurt, so what should I do?’
“Good question, Chris. Chris, it has been said before over and over again that in your state ‘politics is a blood sport’. Buck up. Have a thick skin. Stick to your campaign themes. If you’re opposed to, let’s say, marriage equality, let people know that. Or if you think that health insurance companies should not be mandated to provide mammograms for women, let people know that. That’s what people care about, the weighty issues, not your weight issue.”
“Well, that’s all the time we have today. Tune in next week, when we take an in depth advance look at the 2010 Congressional races. And remember, what California politician Jesse Unruh said —’Money is the Mother’s Milk of politics!’”.