Freethinking English Teacher Blows Minds

rsz 52346427 Freethinking English Teacher Blows MindsA Bronx English teacher has been suspended after assigning his students a Chuck Palahniuk story in which the protagonist masturbates with a carrot.

The Post writes that Greg Van Voorhis, aka “Mr. V,” had a “reputation for pushing the envelope”–which can hardly surprise the reader once they’ve seen a photo of Mr. Van Voorhis with shaggy hair and a loosened purple tie. Bronx School of Law and Finance Principal Evan Schwartz said that administrators heard about the assignment “through the grapevine,” and that parents had been “made aware.” The Department of Education is currently investigating.

Being a roguish high school English teacher is a time-honored tradition, but it works better if you’ve got the English-teaching part down before you get roguish. Seriously, Chuck Palahniuk? My high school English teacher successfully scandalized our Brit Lit class by explaining “tops” and “bottoms” in a discussion of Oscar Wilde.