Brooklyn Pol Willing to Brave Newtown Creek for Internet

lentol Brooklyn Pol Willing to Brave Newtown Creek for InternetNorth Brooklyn Assemblyman Joe Lentol wants Google’s high-speed internet so badly that he’s willing to swim in Newton Creek to get it for his district.

The effect of swimming in the potential Superfund site–and why this would sway Google to include Greenpoint in its pilot program–remain, like the creek itself, entirely unclear. A 2007 report on the effects of a massive oil spill didn’t even bother to account for swimmers.

“The physical nature of the seeps entering Newtown Creek limits the possibility of dermal contact to a member of the public,” the report said, in a clear failure to account for publicity stunts by local politicians. But don’t worry about the estimated 17 million gallons of oil.

“In the unlikely event of dermal contact by the public with the seeps, the health effects of exposure to the petroleum seeps would be minimal compared to those presented by exposure to sewage and contamination from other historical industrial sources found in the Creek.”

An Assemblyman, intractable slime, phenomenal amounts of waste–just make your own Albany joke.