Ivy-ology: Assessing Yale’s Intra-Conference Competition

 

Location: Providence, Rhode Island

 

Number of Undergrads: 6,013

 

Acceptance Rate: 10.8%

 

Famous Alum: Ted Turner

 

Vibe: "Performance artists" spending their trust funds on weed.

 

 

Location: New York, NY

 

Number of Undergrads: 7,169

 

Acceptance Rate: 9.8%

 

Famous Alum: Barack Obama (transfer student)

 

Vibe: The coffee-and-cigarette-fueled overachievers blocking your view at the Broken Social Scene concert downtown.

 

Location: Ithaca, New York

 

Number of Undergrads: 13,931

 

Acceptance Rate: 19%

 

Famous Alum: Thomas Pynchon

 

Vibe: Manic-depressives and future hotel managers.

 

Location: Hanover, New Hampshire

 

Number of Undergrads: 4,100

 

Acceptance Rate: 12%

 

Famous Alum: Mindy Kaling

 

Vibe: Unironic lovers of hiking, in North Face jackets stained with Keystone Light

 

Location: Cambridge, Massachussets

 

Number of Undergrads: 7,181

 

Acceptance Rate: 7%

 

Famous Alum: Unabomber Ted Kaczynski

 

Vibe: Superiority complexes who see their bad haircuts as badges of honor.

 

Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

 

Number of Undergrads: 10,337

 

Accetpance Rate: 17.1%

 

Famous Alum: Tory Burch

 

Vibe: Popped-collar wearers who are so cheerful that they almost convince us they're not dissapointed about getting wait-listed at Yale.

 

Location: Princeton, New Jersey

 

Nunber of Undergrads: 5,047

 

Acceptance Rate: 9.8%

 

Famous Alum: David Remnick

 

Vibe: Kids who know the difference between this season and last season's J.Press catalogs, and will bore you with the details.