Eat This, Not That

Eat This: Spring Minestrone
High-impact, seasonal-injecting nutrition-enhancement. Packs mucho low-cal mojo.

Not That: Artichoke Fritters
Deep-fried danger. Category 5. No such thing as fritter insurance at the beach.

Hmm, that could use a nice "crunch."

Eat This: Garden Salad
Metabolism-stoking, all-American differentiator.

Not That: Little Gem Lettuce (with olive-oil croutons)
Menu misdirection? “Little” items can weigh down health buffs: crouton to futon-ville.

Eat This: Oysters
Omega-saturated, high-octane man fuel. Living libido loca.

Not That: Shrimp cocktail
Major dip-trap. Gateway fish. May lead to future tartar sauce usage.

Eat This: Spring Vegetables
The ultimate spring fling. Reduces bikini-inhibiting peptides.

Not That: French Fries
Think Carla Bruni in a fat suit. Just say, “Mais non.”

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Eat This: Pasta Annunziatta (braised octopus, guancialle, castelli vertrano olives)
Guilt-free, carb splurge. James Bond of pastas. Octopussy meats Goldfinger. Shaken, not stirred.

Not That: Hand-cut Pappardelle (rabbit ragout and parmigiano reggiano)
Run, rabbit, run. Hand-cut carbopalooza. Big-time Thumper watch.

Eat This: Mussels
Motor-revving, protein machines. This way to mussel beach!

Not That: Lobster Pot Pie
Crustacean nation: Beware the carb-container. The harder they come, the butter they fall.

Eat This: New York State Lamb Porterhouse
Dig the lamb-based localism. But go easy on the mint jelly. Silence of the jams.

Not That: Vintage Farm Ribeye for Two
Tandem is for sky-diving. Life rule—one man, one steak. The Lion likes it rare.