Eat This, Not That

  • Eat This: Spring Minestrone
    High-impact, seasonal-injecting nutrition-enhancement. Packs mucho low-cal mojo.

    Not That: Artichoke Fritters
    Deep-fried danger. Category 5. No such thing as fritter insurance at the beach.

  • Hmm, that could use a nice "crunch."

    Eat This: Garden Salad
    Metabolism-stoking, all-American differentiator.

    Not That: Little Gem Lettuce (with olive-oil croutons)
    Menu misdirection? “Little” items can weigh down health buffs: crouton to futon-ville.

  • Eat This: Oysters
    Omega-saturated, high-octane man fuel. Living libido loca.

    Not That: Shrimp cocktail
    Major dip-trap. Gateway fish. May lead to future tartar sauce usage.

  • Eat This: Spring Vegetables
    The ultimate spring fling. Reduces bikini-inhibiting peptides.

    Not That: French Fries
    Think Carla Bruni in a fat suit. Just say, “Mais non.”

  • Eat This: Pasta Annunziatta (braised octopus, guancialle, castelli vertrano olives)
    Guilt-free, carb splurge. James Bond of pastas. Octopussy meats Goldfinger. Shaken, not stirred.

    Not That: Hand-cut Pappardelle (rabbit ragout and parmigiano reggiano)
    Run, rabbit, run. Hand-cut carbopalooza. Big-time Thumper watch.

  • Eat This: Mussels
    Motor-revving, protein machines. This way to mussel beach!

    Not That: Lobster Pot Pie
    Crustacean nation: Beware the carb-container. The harder they come, the butter they fall.

  • Eat This: New York State Lamb Porterhouse
    Dig the lamb-based localism. But go easy on the mint jelly. Silence of the jams.

    Not That: Vintage Farm Ribeye for Two
    Tandem is for sky-diving. Life rule—one man, one steak. The Lion likes it rare.