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'He Who Hesitates Is a Damned Fool'

This drama queen of a limestone mansion may be just what the ho-hum Upper West Side ordered.

The former home of Mae West “exudes drama and elegance,” says the Sotheby's listing. To wit, this 28-foot mansion at 266 West End Avenue features some murals of biblical proportions, a carved oak staircase, conservatories and a “large clerestory skylight.” We're told that has something to do with churches.

Marlon Brando grew up down the street and Dorothy Parker lived around the corner, so you could pretty much offset the $30 million cost by offering tours of the neighborhood. With so many profane West witticisms to choose from, in this case we’ll have to go with, “He who hesitates is a damned fool.” — Laura Kusisto

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The Terrace

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Walk of Fame

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The Fireplace

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Mae West's Townhouse

PREVIOUSLY> 620 Park Avenue