Things that happened to Lord of the Flies author William Golding, as recounted by Times critic Dwight Garner in his review of John Carey’s new Golding biography:

- “The school’s placement interviewers privately noted that he was ‘N.T.S.’ (not top shelf) and ‘Not quite’ (not quite a gentleman).”

- “During one of his first sexual experiences, the girl asked him, mortifyingly, ‘Should I have all that rammed up my guts?’ (‘Yes,’ Golding stammered.)”

- “While in the Navy, he caused an explosion in his pants by placing bomb detonators and a battery in the same pocket. Luckily, no important bits were blown sideways.”

- “When he was a schoolteacher, writing his first novels during class in assignment books, the other teachers would tweak him, asking, ‘How’s the masterpiece coming on?’”

- “One of his boats sank. In a car, he’d get lost a few miles from home.”

- “He was no luckier with hobbies.”

- “Many of Golding’s misadventures involved drink. He fell a lot, missing couches he meant to sit on.”

Carey summarizes Golding’s boyhood thus: “He was alienated from his parents and his brother and had no friends.”

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