It’s Free to Look Hamptons: 295 Three Mile Harbor Road, East Hampton

It's not often you hear the words "intimate" and "yacht club" in the same sentence. Probably because they contradict each other. But if capitalism has taught us anything, it's that $34 million can make any outlandish dream come true.

"What does your imagination suggest?" says the Town & Country listing. Fortunately, the old imagination won't have to work too hard: Most of the suggesting has been done for you. The property at 295 Mile Harbor Road is a "world class resort," which means it basically includes everything. We're talking 13 guesthouses, 58 slips in the marina and one #1 Zagat Rated "exceptional nautically themed" restaurant. And a tennis court and a pool.

The listing says the new owner could continue to run the place as a resort or convert it into a "private family compound." Buyers, we trust, will immediately see the folly in opening this property to the public. It's absolutely the best place to stash your 58 yachts and 13 families of friends. It's also the only place, period. — William Alden

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It’s not often you hear the words “intimate” and “yacht club” in the same sentence. Probably because they contradict each other. But if capitalism has taught us anything, it’s that $34 million can make any outlandish dream come true.

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