It's Free to Look Hamptons: 9 Gibson Lane, Sagaponack

While some properties accrue holiness from proximity to a church, this one might as well be a church. The living room’s ceiling, according to the Corcoran listing, makes it feel like a “cathedral.”

Lost and 'FOUND'

While some properties accrue holiness from proximity to a church, this one might as well be a church. The living room's ceiling, according to the Corcoran listing, makes it feel like a "cathedral."

At $22.5 million, with 145 feet of oceanfront, the property is sinfully "luxurious." The listing makes a religious allusion: "PARADISE FOUND," it blares, tantalizingly. On the first floor, the master suite and the master bathroom both have fireplaces. A fireplace in the bathroom, while not essential, can come in handy if it's winter and you find yourself in the Hamptons spending a lot of time in the bathroom during a freak power outage. The first floor also has three guest bedrooms, each with its own bathroom.

But opportunities for atonement abound. The property features "breathtaking views" of God's green earth: "stunning Sagaponack land and seascapes." Head up to the second-floor "spacious living room" with "cathedral ceiling" (and two fireplaces), or to the bizarrely named "studio annyx," for some heartfelt introspection. — William Alden