Good Morning, Elizabeth Warren!

warrensmile Good Morning, Elizabeth Warren!Oh hi there, Elizabeth Warren!

Congratulations! You’re not the pick to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau — but you’re also not not the pick to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

Even though nothing has officially changed since last night, rumors are flying that President Obama is working hard to shoehorn you into a crucial role at the incipient agency.

The White House and media outlets alike have had to walk back the cat on reports that Obama would appoint you interim head of the bureau, but Bloomberg is saying today that you will be getting a new administration gig over at Treasury. There, you’ll work alongside Secretary Geithner to lay the groundwork for the new agency. (Hopefully he won’t resent you for interrupting one of his Lloyd Blankfein lovefests, but that’s just office politics.)

Plus, today’s plan, just like Monday’s, will permit you to avoid appearing in front of nasty Senate Republicans at a confirmation hearing. That would get ugly, since bank lobbyists are saying that your career as a consumer advocate would make you an unsuitable candidate to head a bureau charged with protecting consumers. You have to admit, that’s a tough allegation to argue against.

Anyway, at this point, the ways for you to play a major role at the bureau are multiplying fast. Take a deep breath of this fresh fall air, Elizabeth Warren; for you, nothing is an impossibility. Well, nothing except teaching contract law to first-year students at Harvard. But why would you want to deal with a horde of sniveling brown-nosers when you could be working in Washington? From here on out, it’s all upside. Catch you on the flip!

The Observer