Look What the Web Dragged In: Manly Dancing and More Restoring Truthiness

baddancer Look What the Web Dragged In: Manly Dancing and More Restoring TruthinessToday in our brief survey of the small furry things the Web has left at our digital doorstep we examine what makes a sexy dancing man–and not. We’ll also check in with the vast sea of supplicants pleading with Stephen Colbert to restore their faith in not taking things so seriously anymore, and see who will be strapping on Larry King’s old interviewing suspenders at CNN.

1. You Will Get Served

Psychologists have discovered the best male dance moves–and the worst–via video footage shown to female test subjects. Good dancers had a variety of moves and they frequently tilted the neck and twisted the torso. Most men stink at dancing, though, displaying “highly repetitive” dance moves involving only the arms and legs. We know these things because according to the Guardian, “37  straight women” agreed on them. Just like the rest of life. Pro tip, guys: your dancing will be much improved if you do it in silence while wearing a full-body, featureless silver suit just like in the animation below. Chicks dig men in featureless body suits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9xThNyPWdc

2. Stephen Colbert Announces That He Will Announce an Announcement Soon

It’s beginning to look like T minus whatever to “Buy a Diaper Day” for the “Restoring Truthiness” folks behind ColbertRally.com. A “Restorer of Truthiness” told the Observer that if Stephen Colbert responded they would lose control of a certain bodily function, and Colbert may be preparing to answer their call. He acknowledged the movement to get him to hold his own event on 10/10/10 on his show last night and promised… some kind of announcement that he will make if Jon Stewart makes an equally mysterious announcement at some point in the near future. Somehow, geese may also be involved. It is unlikely there will be any dancing, whatever the case (see earlier item).

Below: the call to Stephen Colbert, Bringer of Truthiness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCQtDkuHGRc

3. Piers Morgan to be Not Larry King

Nice British person and journalist turned talent show judge Piers Morgan will be taking his place on the slow-smoldering ashes of Larry King’s funeral pyre in Larry King’s comfy office chair at CNN. He will, just as Mr. King did, talk to people about things. The NYT’s Brian Stelter reports that Mr. Morgan will take over from Mr. King in January, 2011.