Apthorp Would Rather Not Be Haunted by Trick-or-Treaters This Year

It will not be a happy Halloween at the Apthorp this year.

Management has posted signs around the building with strict restrictions on who may trick-or-treat, where, and how. Children under seven and non-residents must be accompanied at all times by an adult. Only doors with signs may be knocked on. Only candy with poison or razors may be handed out. Okay, not that one, but the rest is true.

The resident who sent along this sign pointed out that kids will be better off skipping the building anyway. “No one lives here anymore,” the dejected Apthorper wrote in an email.

At least that should make the place all the more spooky, even if it doesn’t mean a big candy haul.

mchaban [at] observer.com | @mc_nyo