Scandal Report: The City’s Tabs Go Head to Head (10/15)

  • First he quit Twitter, now he's quitting nightlife. John Mayer complained to PAGE SIX that events are "too Gossip Girl" for his refined taste in activities — despite being at Soho Grand party for the Hillary Swank film "Conviction" when making the claim.

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  • From Sheri Weiss at the DAILY NEWS comes a report of cocktail assault: someone threw a beer at Kim Kardashian. The piece relies heavily on TMZ's gossip and pictures, as well as the reaction Kim posted to her blog. There she said the assailant and her boyfriend were drunk, but that the Kardashian clan "Just wanted a fun family night out."

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  • Gavin Rossdale — homemaker to wife Gwen Stefani's bacon-bringer and ex-singer of some terrible rock band that no one cares about anymore — once had a thing with another guy, GATECRASHER reports. No big deal, except that he tried to get Details to leave it out of its profile on him. Oh, and the Hollaback Girl didn't know about it. She thought hubby and pal were "just friends" back in the day.

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  • In PAGE SIX, Russel Brand first said he and Perry would counteract the general insanity that surrounds them and make sure the nuptials were "normal." And like all "normal" weddings, this one will fly all the guests out to India for a six-day celebration. Very "normal," guys.

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  • PAGE SIX talked to ex-call girl Irma Nici, who says she can count both David Beckham and the former governor as former satisfied clients. She dished about Spitzer's short runtimes in bed, and his variety of socks — he wore more colors than just his standard black.

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  • Both PAGE SIX and Cristina Everett at the DAILY NEWS expended a ton of ink of this once-important couple's demise, and the reports tended to be similar, with both of them pulling from sources to weave a narrative laced with open-marriage liaisons.

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  • PAGE SIX kept its eyes peeled at Kenmare Wednesday night and spotted Alex Rodriguez meeting people for a drink. This group included a member of the opposite sex, so the natural conclusion was that A-Rod was eye-flirting with another girl and eye-cheating on Cameron Diaz.

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  • Lindsay Lohan is in rehab (for the fifth time, those keeping score at home!) The DAILY NEWS has it from a source that Lindsay tried to run away from the soda-less Betty Ford clinic and seek sugary carbonation comfort nearby. She nearly succeeded, but he partner-in-crime got stuck on a fence, and the two were caught.

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  • PAGE SIX was at the premiere of the hotly anticipated Ryan Gosling Oscar bait "Blue Valentine" during the hoity toity Hamptons Film Festival. The film, though apparently great,was marred by a phantom glowing, a light source that wouldn't seem to go away, a nagging annoyance — Alec Baldwin was on his cell phone, sexting away. In times this dire one must be resourceful and use the tools at hand. Ready... aim... fire! Alec Baldwin got pummeled with M&Ms — bam! bam! — until he finally clicked off his phone. And order was restored at the Hamptons Film Festival.

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  • Though they claim Carey didn't "quash" the pregnancy rumors at her husband Nick Cannon's 30th birthday, judging from the GATECRASHER piece it appears as though she just didn't say anything. She did, however, drink cranberry juice. Is that enough confirmation?

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  • Richard Johnson may be gone, but Emily Smith is off to a solid start. In a week that saw the nation's best known purveyor of print gossip undergo the most serious changes in its history, her team was still able to hit a few doubles — such as John Mayer's pretentious dismissal of the nightlife scene and Alec Baldwin as movie theater target in the Hamptons. Gatecrasher, on the other hand, too often relied of other news sources to fill out its pages. And for these reasons, PAGE SIX triumphs over its rivals at the DAILY NEWS in the first week of the Emily Smith era. There's always next week!