Inept Crooks Steal Actual Dough, Inspire Terrible Punning

20090528 sos beauty Inept Crooks Steal Actual Dough, Inspire Terrible PunningThe owners of a Staten Island pizza parlor dropped some pretty stellar paranomasia on two would-be theives, the New York Post reports.

Court documents indicate that the following actually happened: Salvatore LaRosa and an accomplice spotted the men from Brothers Pizzeria walking out of their restaurant with a bag, followed them to their home, and held them up for everything they had. Naturally, these crooks thought, if two men leave a business establishment with a bag, it’s gonna be filled with the day’s pull – a decent amount of dough, perhaps.

But in a twist of fate that’s been a boon for wordplay snobs and headline writers, the bag actually contained real dough. Which makes sense, because the guys own a pizza parlor. Also, let’s explore the fact that the bag could have contained “cheese” and this petty crime would have the same level of quirkiness. Because “cheese” – a food item not uncommon at a pizza place – also means money, as Mitchiko Kakutani learned from Jay-Z. Slang – it’s crazy sometimes!

Anyway, the thieves didn’t grasp the irony of the situation and ran off with the dough, resulting in an arrest. Crime and PUN-ishment.

nfreeman at observer.com |@nfreeman1234

Article continues below
More from Culture
Actor Jake Gyllenhaal attends 'Sunday In The Park With George' Broadway opening night after party at New York Public Library.
Jake Gyllenhaal Talks Taking His Musical Shot in ‘Sunday in the Park With George’