‘Malt Liquor in Confectionary Drag’: Frank Bruni Reviews Four Loko

106159257 ‘Malt Liquor in Confectionary Drag’: Frank Bruni Reviews Four LokoTimes former food critic and current drinks and features writer Frank Bruni sampled the alcoholic energy drink Four Loko over the weekend. The malt beverage is the current bugaboo of Chuck Schumer and the FDA and like anyone over the age of 16, Mr. Bruni did not like it.

But the criticism itself is a heady brew. The neon camouflage exterior is likened to “what an army of Teletubbies would wear into battle.” The alcohol taste is there and gone, “like Alfred Hitchcock in one of his movies.” It is for those who take alcohol like a drug.

Four Loko is all stealth: spoonfuls of sugar to help the medicines go down. Until I felt a slight flush in my cheeks and subtle tingling on my scalp, I could have convinced myself that I was drinking candy. It wasn’t to my liking, but then neither are jelly beans.

If they’d made a Choco Taco flavor, perhaps the review would have been more favorable.