A star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Ms. Witherspoon? You must be elated! And, if your movies are any indication of your real personality, speaking very quickly and in a very high tone.

We’re going to be frank, Ms. Witherspoon. We haven’t seen any movie of yours since Cruel Intentions. Apparently there was a remake of Ghost Dad somewhere along the line? Sweet Home Alabama? Was that you? Or Diane Lane? Or both?

You’re a woman of mystery, Ms. Witherspoon. No wonder the tabloids follow you around.

Congrats, all the same.

Love,

The Observer