In September, Jersey Shore‘s most indelible cartoon guidette decided to pen a memoir of sorts — a roman à clef detailing the boardwalk way of life.
But would this tome ever approach completion? Some doubted whether the 22-year-old woman who doesn’t eat lobster because “they’re alive when you kill it” could complete an entire work of literature. And what of her past dabbling in the written word? The princess of Poughkeepsie tackled her first book, Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John, just last February. Is that really enough preparation, the nonbelievers wondered aloud? When Simon and Schuster announced that it would publish A Shore Thing in early 2011, the naysayers were forced to wait and see.
Now we have the answer. A Shore Thing has fulfilled the presumptuousness of its terrible punning and materialized, against all odds. It’ll hit shelves later this week, but to tide you over until then, let’s make our way to the excerpts nabbed by the New York Post.
“He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
And then a touching little revelation:
“I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.”
The prose is rough, perhaps, but these small samples reveal that the Snooki character can indeed be translated to the printed page. And, if you want to join the new author on her first-ever visit to the foreign world of the bookstore, make sure you catch her at a book signing.