Prepare to Never Sleep Again: Starbucks Gives Us the Trenta, Goliath of Coffees

It’s nearing the afternoon — is the rush of caffeine you sucked out of your daily Starbucks Venti already wearing off? Perhaps 24 ounces of coffee just isn’t enough anymore.

This, apparently, is why Starbucks announced today that starting in May the “Trenta” sized cup will be available. It will be 31 ounces of America’s ubiquitous burnt-tasting coffee, ready for your consumption.

And what will this leviathan of java dispensers set you back? Oh, just 50 cents more than the Venti. A lot of coffee, or a gratuitous amount of coffee for two quarters more? The choice here is clear.

What we are looking forward to most, however, is the exasperated look on the barista’s face whenever a customer asks for “extra large” and has to be corrected with “Trenta.” It’s an appropriately faux-European name in line with all the others, and jaded coffee fiends will mock it accordingly.

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