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Wednesday: Gwyneth Sings A Song With 'Fuck' In The Title; Alexa Ray Joel Loves Both Her Parents
One of the best songs of 2010 was called "Fuck You" and it was performed by Goodie Mob member Cee Lo Green. Even the cast of Glee and yoga aficionado Gwyneth Paltrow liked it. Crossover! Unfortunately, Paltrow liked it so much that her mousey vocals will accompany those of Mr. Cee Lo Green on a new version of the song, PAGE SIX reported. It'll be the cleaned-up "Forget You," naturally. All is lost.
Alexa Ray Joel is a musician who will in all probability never be as popular as her father. I mean, Billy can churn out the hits! Still, GATECRASHER assured us that she can indeed sing, and the Oak Room at The Plaza will indeed save a slot for her on the lineup. You don't think she's the real deal? You may be right!
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Monday: Mila and Mack Go Splitsville; Scarlett and Ryan Are Breakup Buddies!
PAGE SIX reported that Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin made their split official, ending eight years of blissful attachment. At least it happened around Christmas, giving Kulkin the chance to sprint through an empty house in the Chicago suburbs, jumping on beds, and slapping his palms to his cheeks. Though we all know he does that every holiday season, anyway.
It seems that GATECRASHER just won't let the most crushing breakup of 2010 die quietly. They dug up as much dirt as possible on every interaction between one-time love birds Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds, even going so far as to suggest that their friendship can endure. Guys! If every golden couple stayed together forever than Diddy would still be with J. Lo and Ben Affleck would still be with... J. Lo.
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Tuesday: Nicki Weathers a New Year's Wardrobe Malfunction; Fergie and Co. Let Old Acquaintans Be For-yacht
Nicki Minaj may be hotter than a Middle Eastern climate, but even that heat couldn't match the leather-fraying intensity that Miami brought upon the rapper's dress New Year's Eve. The straps snapped before she went onstage at Mansion, PAGE SIX informed us, but the valiant Nicki helmed both mic and vodka regardless.
You're Roman Abramovich, you're Russian, and you're a billionaire. If you can rope the Black Eyed Peas into gigging at your private little shindig, why not, right? Well, GATECRASHER said the banking maven of the eastern bloc had three choices ahead of the "Boom Boom Pow" experts: Snoop Dogg, Kid Cudi, and Kid Rock. What kind of radio stations are they getting out there anyway?
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Thursday: A Baldwin Chooses Blood Over Hannity; Nic Cage Can See The Future
Fox News host Sean Hannity turned toward the distasteful (shocker!) when he played clips of Alec Baldwin yelling at his daughter Ireland. Brother must defend brother, so naturally Stephen Baldwin parlayed this injustice into a spot in PAGE SIX. Stephen Baldwin wants Hannity off the radio! The people need to know!
It's generally assumed that Nicolas Cage does certain things for certain reasons -- he's Nic Cage. Why, then, is he starring in this so-bad-it's-good sorcery tale The Season of the Witch. GATECRASHER digs up the answer: he had a dream that his next movie would be in the woods, the film's producer explained. If this is how Nic Cage picks movies, you've got some serious inception to do, Leo.
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Gossipmonger of the week: Page Six!
A new year a new... well, Page Six isn't exactly a newcomer to the gossipmonger crown. In fact, they've racked up the most victories overall, even if Gatecrasher's been winning more often and constantly nipping at their heels. Perhaps all the celebs have found the world's last few isolated coves to spend the holidays, as it seems the people who squeeze the lemons of circumstance into the juiciest and tartest of items are off everyone's radar. But PAGE SIX globe-trotted as much as they could, and for that they claim the throne this week. Until next Friday, everyone!
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Matthew McConaughey's Portuguese Isn't En Chamas; Lady Gaga Just Wants the Horses to be Warm
Imagine Matthew McConaughey talking to you. Now imagine Matthew McConaughey talking to you with a Brazilian accent. Now imagine Matthew McConaughey talking to you with a Brazilian accent and speaking in terrible Portuguese. How awful does that sound, right? Well, the actor inflicted such torture on the South American diners sitting near him while he was on vacation, PAGE SIX reported. And you thought your Christmas dinner was bad.
Lady Gaga sang at the Oak Room -- just like Alexa Ray Joel! -- and a GATECRASHER source said she made sure to give a shout out to all the horses in Central Park forced to endure the cold. She cares, everyone. Lady Gaga cares about the horses.
