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The Harem Pant
Perhaps the ultimate sexual buzz kill, the harem pant renders even the most shapely legs flabby and absurd, a confusing formless goo in sartorial form.
The Man Repeller
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The Lady Bowner
"Nothing gets a man's copulatory organ more aroused than the prospect of banging a girl who's dressed like him," Medine jokes. The bow tie, or the Lady Bowner, is an easy touch and a surefire way to confuse the magnets in a male's sexual compass.
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The Birth-Control Glasses
Thick rimmed glasses—especially worn purely as accessory, sans prescription—are fantastic for conjuring up the librarian or nerd vibe that men pretend to find sexy but actually don't.
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The Maxi Skirt
In her days as a student at an orthodox Jewish day school, floor-length skirts haunted Medine. But the Orthodox must be credited for their uncanny man-repelling skills; the shapeless drape buries the legs in a sea of skirt, leaving men bewildered and bored.
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The Clog
Several pounds of bulky wood and cloth attached to the feet make for an excellent antidote to any otherwise-seductive outfit.
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The Shoulder Pad
The shoulder pad is the essential component to any power jacket—the "power" being the capacity to turn a lady's upper body into an asexual box. In leopard print, this one's a man-repelling double whammy.
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The Grizzly Suit
The more layers of unidentifiable furs and wools you've got, the harder it is to consider whatever's hiding underneath.
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The Turband
A cross between an actual turban and a simple headband, the silk-skarf-fashioned turband does well to make a woman look like a ninja or a towel-wrapped lady vacationing in the Middle East à la Sex and the City 2.
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The Onesie
"I hold this jumpsuit particularly near and dear because it was the first sartorial cock block I ever bought...and it's been working wonders," Medine writes of her white Wilt onesie. The onesie comes in a number of forms—denim overalls, leotards, jumpsuits—each of which infantilize and de-sex a lady's frame.
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The Drop-Crotch Pant
Don't feel like refilling your birth control prescription this month? A drop-crotch pant, the harem pant's younger cousin—especially in a camouflage tone—works wonders to zap the sex appeal from any look. "The rear view is a real broom cracker," Medine writes.
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