The Onion‘s new issue defuses any scattered murmurs of a Pixar backlash, by deploying “John Lasseter,” the Toy Story director and chief creative officer at the studio, to “write” an op-ed. Lasseter mocks the undiscerning taste of his viewers — he calls them a “horde of drooling morons” — but the piece ends up mocking those who view Pixar’s output as formulaic or too easy. “We’ve got you dummies eating up this works-of-cinematic-beauty shit like your miserable little lives depended on it,” Lasseter writes.
Has any studio ever had such a perfect public image as does Pixar? They have a category at the Oscars reserved for them and now even their precious few detractors — those who, like Armond White, argue that the films are simplistic and only “fitfully amusing” — are subject to parody. The detractors are right, says Faux-Lasseter. The films are defined by “that razor-sharp humor garbage we can basically barf out anytime we need a hefty payday.” It’s the “razor-sharp humor,” not the “garbage,” that the Onion means sincerely (the article even name-checks upcoming releases Cars 2 and Brave, as if the writer can’t wait either).
It’s an open question at this point as to whether Pixar’s golden age will ever fade, as Disney’s in the 1990s did — maybe the aforementioned Cars sequel will do it? But for now, if it were possible for Lasseter to keep up with everyone who wishes Pixar well, he ought to send the Onion a bouquet.
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