Palin, Weiner and Lebron Fall On Hard Times

weiner6 getty Palin, Weiner and Lebron Fall On Hard Times

These aren't the only hard times of Weiner caught on camera.

We thought we had seen the last leg of the Sarah Palin Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Tour when she took off across the Eastern seaboard by bus last month, but it gets worse. On Friday the state of Alaska finally released (only three short years after being asked) tens of thousands of the former governor’s emails. While disappointingly tame on the whole, the 24,000-plus pages of correspondence did put to rest the debate over whether Ms. Palin installed a tanning bed in the governor’s mansion (she did) and what her email forwards might have contained (a poem entitled “An Indian With One Testicle”).

We also thought the Anthony Weiner sexting scandal had finally gone flaccid, but it made a hard comeback. Last Wednesday, the New York Times’s City Room blog revealed that things had gotten worse: the congressman’s wife, Huma Abedin, is three months pregnant. Then on Sunday, TMZ released photos of Mr. Weiner—currently seeking treatment for an unspecified condition (sex addiction? narcissistic personality disorder? BlackBerry thumb?)—posing in a white towel in the congressional gym in the decidedly unsexy basement of the Rayburn House Office Building in Washington, D.C. It also came to light that Mr. Weiner had corresponded with a 17-year-old high school student in News Castle, Del., although the congressman was quick to point out that the nature of the relationship was “neither explicit nor indecent.” (Which seems like a narrow and not-quite-inclusive-enough characterization, but maybe he’s just really hands-on with poli-sci homework.)

And thanks to Mr. Weiner’s total political implosion, the mayoral race in 2013 could get worse, with long-shot candidates like Alec Baldwin and Marty Markowitz—not so much dark horses as circus show ponies—presenting the distinct possibility that explicit and indecent Weiner shots might not be the worst thing to happen to New York.

But it definitely got worse for LeBron James, who, less than a year after joining the Heat, became the worst thing in recent history to happen to Miami—belly-flopping during the N.B.A. finals … and then taking the opportunity to rub his fame in the face of disappointed fans. It also got worse for error-prone apocalypse predictor Harold Camping, who suffered a stroke he did not—that we know of—see coming. It got worse for the well-heeled denizens of Greenwich, Conn., who had to contend last weekend not only with rained-out lobster bakes but also with a rogue mountain lion. Things even got worse for the mountain lion (no doubt also disappointed by the absence of lobster bakes) when it was struck by—what else?—an S.U.V. on the Merritt.

Of course, it also got better for some. Mammary and hot wing enthusiasts can now take in the view at equally classy Hooters alternative Canz, which recently opened on Long Island. It got better for all Americans possessed of corneas and eardrums when Rebecca Black’s viral music video “Friday” was taken down from YouTube Monday. It got better for Michelle Bachmann, who somehow managed to medicate her acute case of crazy eyes and emerge from the G.O.P.’s second primary debate in New Hampshire relatively victorious. It helped that Tim Pawlenty wilted like a bodega tulip—or certain members attached to certain members of Congress—and that Herman Cain used his time at the podium to profess his love for deep-dish pizza.

And we can only hope that, come the June 20 vote on same-sex marriage in Albany, that it gets better for a great many New Yorkers.

Comments

  1. gh says:

    Same sex marriage-queers eating each other-ho