Photo Finish: Bratty Breitbart Bogarts Weiner Fest

breitbart3 getty Photo Finish: Bratty Breitbart Bogarts Weiner Fest

So, Monday was fun. Not only did we learn that embattled amateur underwear model and unwavering mayoral aspirant Anthony Weiner really did tweet that infamous crotch shot to Gennette Cordova, in addition to numerous other indiscretions conducted over social media (we couldn’t resist imagining how a certain member of–well, Mr. Weiner’s person–may have felt about the whole affair), but we also learned that Andrew Breitbart has no qualms about creating new photo ops for himself.

In a bizarre turn, the conservative blogger stepped out of the press gallery and up to the podium, where he proceeded to speak for 13 minutes, announcing at the outset, “I’m here for some vindication.” (While he was undoubtedly referring to the yfrog-friendly Mr. Weiner’s public denials of crotch shot distribution, we can¹t help but wonder if the man who once self-identified as “Matt Drudge’s bitch” was also eager to atone for other things–like calling Michelle Obama fat.) Mr. Breitbart went on to announce that he possessed an “X-rated” image of Mr. Weiner, presumably not for personal use.

But despite Mr. Breitbart’s best efforts, Ms. Weiner’s most helpful (if belated) counsel may have come from the actress Reese Witherspoon, who, while accepting a “Generations Award” at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night, told the audience–which included recent smartphone self-portraitist Blake Lively–that, when she came up in show business, “if you took naked pictures of yourself … you hide your face, people! Hide your face!”

Escaping pictorial evidence of his crimes‹but not the wrath of his victims‹this week was Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who entered a not guilty plea at his arraignment Monday morning after weeks of hiding his face in $14 million Tribeca townhouse. As the former I.M.F. chief entered the courthouse, a row of chambermaids chanted, “Shame on you!” After the hearing, D.S.K. was placed under house arrest (which, if we’ve learned anything from Martha Stewart and Gossip Girl, means lots of scone-baking and ambivalent Gilt Groupe shopping).

Another photo finish–albeit somewhat less risqué–may be the 2012 presidential race, according to the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll numbers, released Tuesday. If Mitt Romney is the G.O.P. nominee, the poll indicates that he will defeat President Obama by a 3% margin, while if Romney and his Aquafresh campaign logo fail to woo the Republican base, the incumbent has an edge over possible opponents Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Tim Pawlenty, and Jon Huntsman. (And former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum, who announced his candidacy Monday despite being voted out of office by his constituents in 2006, entered the race too late to be considered, but we’re betting his odds of winning the nomination are about as good as those that the unsavory definition of “santorum” coined by his detractors will fall from the top spot on Google.)

And how ‘bout those Yankees? New York’s dominant baseball franchise began a series with the Boston Red Sox Tuesday night, the outcome of which will determine who’s number one in the A.L. East. We haven’t been this excited since–well, since every other year this happens.

At least there are a few goings-on to distract us from sext scandals, sports and premature political projections. It’s Internet Week, for starters–like Secretary’s Day, but for your Tumblr!–a city-wide event that’s attracted such illustrious keynote speakers as Chuck Schumer and Nicholas Kristof (no word on whether notorious web maven and future former Times editor Bill Keller was offered a spot). In celebration–or by coincidence–The Observer relaunched its website early this morning, just as the copy of the paper you’re holding was dropped onto your doorstep with a few modifications of its own. We’re sleeker! We’re wordier! We’re ever so slightly more fanciful!

But we’re not trying to steal anybody’s spotlight. And we’re not looking for vindication. We’re just not afraid to show our (ever so slightly improved) face.