New York’s 21 Questions Presents the City’s Repressed Sexual Id

21!

21!

New York‘s “21 Questions” possesses the city’s most finely refined formula of trollbait: Unflatteringly lit portraits of generally attractive people (allowing for divergence on appearance) and repeated weekly questions whose best answers reveal one either to be a dope or a snob (do you read the Post or the Times?!) and either unfunny or so funny that eight previous respondents got there first.

Let’s look at what the attractive-yet-lonely commenters think of the question-answerers!

On comedian Rachel Dratch:

“I ran into her a couple years ago. She’s not nearly as unfortunate-looking in person. Still no Cheri Oteri, but better-looking than you’d expect.”

On Book of Mormon star Andrew Rannells:

“God, I love him. Someone please tell me he’s not the ghey and I might have a shot?”

On comedian Kevin Allison:

He has too many freckles. Are these natural or just from too much sun? If from too much sun, he really should moisturize with extra virgin olive oil on a regular basis. May not get rid of all the sun spots but it will greatly diminish them.”

On comedian Aasif Mandvi:

What do you call a good looking Lebanese dude?

Azif.”

On Modern Family actress Sarah Hyland:

“She looks -really- young for 19 in that picture. Guess [another commenter] will be trying to contact her right away.”

On restaurateur Jason Pomeranc (parental discretion advised):

“I so want to go to the movies with this dude. In the dark and air conditioning he’ll get the relaxation, release and real service like he’s probably never had before, and won’t even need the ambien I won’t open my mouth to say a word (I never talk when my mouth is full). And then I’ll take him over to the Four Seasons for another happy meal before we go back to his place and…see what he can do in one and a half hours, bet he won’t even notice the TV. Just love him from that sexy, hot photo! I like them self assured, demanding, in need and giving –they just taste better that way!”

On fashion photographer Nigel Barker:

“i wanna be his friend. how cute is he? i imagine him and his beautiful family taking naps in their beautiful, but un-fussy apartment… *sigh*. Okay, now I’m getting creepy. Sleepy creepy.”

“He is sexaiii.”

Finally, a one-act play on Gawker editor Remy Stern:

“Loved it. Least pretentious interview ever. And yeah, I would.”

“Certainly one of the least pretentious, if not a bit dull. And yeah I’d hit that…”

“Definitely un-pretentious. Hmmmm I guess I’d hit that in an emergency”

“9/11 emergency or ran-out-of-vodka emergency?”

“No, I wouldn’t say it’s lowering standards. It’s more that, he’s cute enough and mentally stable seeming and not full of himself and has a cool job which implies that he should at least be able to hold up his end of a conversation. And he said he likes his mom…

All those things for me add up to “would”, in that they act as compensation for the initial purely physical meh-ness.”

ddaddario@observer.com :: @DPD_

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