Are you a sad and lonely man sleepwalking through our crowded city in a solitary trance, hoping you can find someone to settle down with? Perhaps you’re interested in women who specialize in reality TV sleaze-fame, inexplicable pop music, and nudity? That is the case, yes?
Today, then, is a good day. Men of New York, you’re about to get a shot of love.
This fair city is set to welcome Tila Tequila, bi-sexual bane of the juggalos, to its borders. That’s right, she’s moving here. To be a part of it, to make a brand new start of it, in Old New York.
She feels LA is “played out” and she’s “ready to conquer NYC” — so the reality star is packing up her stuff and moving to The Big Apple for GOOD next weekend.
For GOOD. Also, she wants to have your babies.
“I just want to meet new friends, fall in love, get married, have babies, and call it a day!” she said.
Tila, we’re single!
But she might be looking younger. Apropos of nothing Ms. Tequila says she wants to “do the whole college thing.”
You know what that means: watch out, New School students.