How To (Maybe!) Hint At Something Untoward, With Ryan Lizza and Marcus Bachmann

Marcus Bachmann (Getty Images)

Marcus Bachmann (Getty Images)

Certain rumors about Marcus Bachmann, husband to presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, have not gained much traction in mainstream-press publications’ profiles of Ms. Bachmann, despite the best efforts of Dan Savage, Jon Stewart, et al.

Ryan Lizza’s exceptional New Yorker profile of of Ms. Bachmann, published today, outs Mr. Bachmann–as a confirmed oddball (what did you think we meant?). For gossip-minded readers, the interlude during which Messrs. Lizza and Bachmann get acquainted on a long flight is simply a feast!

Marcus Bachmann is the following things:

–He’s very image-conscious: “‘All I want to know is what they’re saying about me,’ he said. ‘Newsweek came up with the word “silver fox.” Tell me what “silver fox” means.'”

–He doth protest: “‘Oh, don’t tell me it’s something gay!’ he said. ‘Because I’ve been called that before.'”
–He wants to probe the mystery that is Ryan Lizza: “O.K., earliest childhood memories. Not the safe one, just the first one.”
–He doesn’t think you can handle his truth: “‘My goodness, you guys are quick, sharp, and complimentary so far—just until I get to know you long enough, and then you might even tell the truth.’ He paused. ‘Which I’m really afraid of!'”
–He loves his luggage!: “He grabbed a large suitcase from a cart—’I’m the high-maintenance traveller here, with the biggest, heaviest bag’—and he and Michele walked away.”
The article concludes that Michele Bachmann has a tendency to speak too soon and without sufficient thought to ramifications.
ddaddario@observer.com :: @DPD_

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    well even this rag must admit that if it talks like a duck and walks like a duck and shakes his ass like a duck…..

  2. Anonymous says:

    It’s pretty obvious that Mistress Bachmann is the top and she and her Marcus bottom have had a stable of pony girls.  The stuff about her shop teacher and the paddle.  A little obvious what’s going on here, don’t you think?  That and the ‘program’ for young women with ‘eating disorders?’  

  3. Anonymous says:

    If this isn’t a candidacy to be outed by the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo then I don’t know what.  It’s eyes spinning, Exorcism time Hollywood.  John Waters is on his way.