We’re pretty big fans of power lists over here at the New York Observer. The New Power Gays, The Media Power Couples, the Real Estate Power 100 and the plain old Power 150. What better way to really get to the bottom of a person’s many intricacies than to rank them alongside other people who have very little or nothing to do with them? As Don Delillo says, “lists are a form of cultural hysteria.” Yeah. hysterically awesome! In the interest of transparency, we thought we’d give you a list of ten power lists that we’re thinking about for the future. Reader, we don’t know if you can handle all this power.
1. The Old Establishment
From John Jacob Astor to Wallis Simpson, the long-dead aristocrats you can’t afford not to know. (Ed. Eerily similar to Vanity Fair‘s New Establishment, as it happens.)
2. The Media Power Spinsters
In their defense, journalism does ruin your personal life.
3. People We Know That Work in Media Who Are Not Single But Also Not Really Dating Anybody. You Know How It is Sometimes.
Because we really do know too many people in the media.
4. Cat Power List
Power lists and cats doing funny things are why the Internet exists. Combine the two and it’s enough power to light a house.
5. The 150 Most Powerful Children of People Who Have Been Ranked on Power Lists
Kids ten and under are tweeting now!
6. The Shortest, Fattest White Men in New York Media
Writing doesn’t give you a lot of time to exercise, and forget about sunlight.
7. Alphabet Power 26
It’s time we finally got to the bottom of which letter is the most powerful. You’re looking pretty good from here “A,” but be careful: we’ve been using “S” a lot lately too.
8. 150 Most Mediocre People in Real Estate
For the people who kind of suck, but are also somewhat passable in real estate.
9. 10,000 People in New York We Don’t Like
This one took a lot of editing.
10. The Power Power List 150
We think 2011 is the year that power lists became self-aware (for reference, see this blog post), so here’s the most powerful one of all: the 150 most powerful power lists. (Now get ready for the obligatory Kanye West power list reference:) No one list should have all that power.