Wall Street Journal is Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

bullets vs capitalists Wall Street Journal is Faster Than A Speeding BulletAAA Rating, affirmed: it would have taken Superman being placed in DC Comics’ batting lineup to overcome The Wall Street Journal last night. Wall Street may have had a rollercoaster week, but the Journal’s softball team was trending upwards – they beat DC’s Bullets 11-4.

News assistant Will Smith—yes, that one—hit three homeruns in three directions, prompting two DC Bullets to jokingly wonder if the 25 year-old was on steroids. He was, insofar as we could tell, not.

A rules question broke out involving the batting line-up. According to league regulations, women have to be evenly distributed through an eleven-person batter queue. There are no rules as to what happens when a twelfth batter is involved, but that may soon evolve. Media softball is still something of a boys club.

After the game, senior editor Mike Siconolfi headed back to the office to finish editing a page one story. “We never miss a deadline, but we also never miss a game,” he said.

As Mr. Siconolfi walked to the subway, the veteran softball player reminisced about long-ago games against High Times.  He recounted a blue haze of smoke rising above a besuited editor in an early days culture clash between the teams.

Speaking of stoners and capitalists, the legendary High Times’ Bonghitters  won a close one against Forbes, 11-10. The Bonghitters scored two runs in the top of the 7th with two outs. “Poor Forbes, this is the 3rd time they’ve lost in the last inning this season,” wrote commissioner Steve Bloom.

Forbes may have a reversal of fortune soon, as Newsweek/ Daily Beast’s coach Randall Lane will be departing for Forbes’ greener pastures after Labor Day, and right before the playoffs, too. Awkwardness may ensue.

ksmoke@observer.com