The Atlantic Signs with ICM to Shop Content in Hollywood

Why Obama Matters: The Movie

ICM has signed yet another East Coast news outlet as a client, further establishing itself as the primary interlocutor between the impoverished ranks of freelance magazine writers and giant pots of gold shimmering on the other side of the continental divide in Hollywood. The Atlantic will now be a major motion picture.

We dread the kinds of movies we’re going to have to watch as a result of this. The Atlantic is better known these days for faux-sociology and alarmist think pieces. The only columnist that ever made us laugh was Sandra Tsing-Loh. The thought of “The End of Men” and “Marry Him!” recast as romantic comedies makes us want to move to a remote part of the Northwest Territories to raise elk, declare ourselves liberated of all gender constructs and never come within spitting distance of a fiber-optic cable again. And as for whatever it is all the middle-aged men are banging on about this month, well, we’re glad they have figured everything out in the world, just don’t make us watch it on television. Think of what a great marquee line-up this issue’s cover stories will make: “Can the Middle Class Be Saved?” and the article by Megan McArdle about Austan Goolsbee and “Break My iPhone, Please.”

Yes, we will break your iPhone.