Joe Biden Merges The Onion and Reality's Interdimensional Divide With Car & Driver Interview

6047290169 d00f0e74c2 Joe Biden Merges The Onion and Reality's Interdimensional Divide With Car & Driver InterviewWhether or not Joe Biden has said anything unintentionally funny or cringe-worthy on any given day hinges on a single question: Did Joe Biden give someone an interview? Today’s answer is, of course, yes. This time, to Car & Driver.

This is especially delightful in light of

1. Our last Democratic Vice President, the emissions-hating Al Gore, and

2. An Onion article entitled ‘Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway.’  Which he addresses with an interview that may as well appear in The Onion:

C/D: While shirtless, have you ever washed a 1981 Pontiac Trans Am in your driveway?

JB: [Laughing] You think I’d drive a Trans Am? I have been in my bathing suit in my driveway and not only washed my Goodwood-green 1967 Corvette but also simonized it.  At least the Onion should have had me washing a Trans Am convertible. I love convertibles.

And we love Joe Biden. What does Joe Biden not love, however? Not being allowed to be Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused, basically:

JB: …I still have my 1967 Goodwood-green Corvette, 327, 350-horse, with a rear-axle ratio that really gets up and goes. The Secret Service won’t let me drive it. I’m not allowed to drive anything. It’s the one thing I hate about this job. I’m serious.

This is surprising, given that the one thing most people would assume Joe Biden hates about his job is being the White House’s Mascot-In-Chief. Also, classic sans-context Bidenism:

So I jumped on that sucker and laid rubber.  A great feeling.

Indeed it is, Mr. Vice-President. Indeed it is.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek