Mayor Bloomberg Claims Homeward Bound Cat Just Really Loves New York

Yesterday, the world cooed over the story of Willow the cat, a heartwarming tale about a kitty who went missing in Colorado and then showed up, five years later, at her masters’ new home in NYC. Aw!

Mayor Bloomberg, not wanting to miss this photo-op to talk up our great city, stated to the press yesterday:

“I think what it does show is that everybody, in the end, wants to come and live in New York. Now, cats reputedly have nine lives, and [Willow] clearly wanted to spend at least one of them here in New York City. I just don’t know what [she] was waiting for.”

Or, translated for those non-native New York speakers:

“We have tons of stray cats in New York. They are literally everywhere, especially in Brooklyn and Petco, where we sometimes drown them love them very much. If you have a stray cat looking for a home, please bring them down to Bloomberg Pet Emporium, located off the highway right next to New Jersey.”