From XOXO to XOX-NO: Blake and Leo Shatter Dreams With Shocking Breakup

Ms. Lively is strong, she smiles through grief.

Oh! You pretty things, why can’t you stay together? After a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it five-month courtship, great American leading man Leonardo DiCaprio and cable television actress Blake Lively have called it quits. Yes, it’s for real this time — reps for both parties have confirmed the split. US Weekly broke the story, but I say, don’t let’s kill the messenger. Let’s be cordial. It’s the pair themselves that have let us down. Here, we have extra tissues.

The consequences of this are multitudinous. If you’re in Monte Carlo looking at yachts, you will now have a very slim chance of seeing Leonardo DiCaprio snuggling with Blake Lively; before, the chances were fairly high. What else? Well, Leo won’t be cast as Chuck Bass’ nefarious cousin on Gossip Girl anytime soon. Yeah, and Mr. DiCaprio’s in Australia filming some movie about a rich guy stealing another rich guy’s wife, but when he’s back, his old cap-clad self will no doubt prowl this town until late at night.

We wish the best for both of them.