Note to OWS: Please Don't Occupy Central Park With Your Igloos

5 reasons that is a terrible idea!

Igloos and Occupiers

We are very serious here: The Occupy Wall Street movement’s biggest resource drain right now is trying to keep up the habitation of Zuccotti Park. Whatever message OWS may or may not have had has, in the past week or so, become a secondary concern to just keeping people alive, fed, warm, and un-raped. The media has also switched its attention to the more salacious stories about criminals and crazies slipping in amongst the protesters instead to what people were protesting to begin with.

So you know what wouldn’t help with this issue, now that the winter months are at our heels? Moving people to Central Park and building them igloos to live in, as has been suggested with this weekend’s upcoming Park march as well as the remarks of one entirely delusional person who spoke to Gothamist today.

Here’s why this would be a terrible idea:

1) If you are trying to get away from the drug addicts, sexual assaulters, and homeless, Central Park would be the last place in the world you’d want to overnight it in.

2) General Assembly has been very good about using people with different resources and skills to create things like power-generating bikes and waste-disposal systems. However, we know for a fact that Oberlin did not have a class on how to build an igloo. The closest we ever came was that time we read Into the Wild and some of us talked about working on a salmon boat in Alaska for a summer, which we never did. Same goes for Wesleyan, Bard, Reed, Hampshire, and Sarah Lawrence.

3) The Occupation would be better served if it was figurative, not literal. The problems OWS faces in Zuccotti Park are only going to amplify in the Winter. Why not just disband one night, clean the park, and then organize protests on social networking sites? Flash mobs are effective because of the element of surprise. Human microphones…less so.

4) Central Park is not privately owned. Policemen on horses will be beating down your snowfort with rubber clubs before you can say “Mic Check!”

5) Horizontal Democracy has no authority in The Rambles. That’s just a fact.

Note to OWS: Please Don't Occupy Central Park With Your Igloos