Elisabeth Krents: it’s a name that you may have not heard of before today, unless you are a parent going through terrifying trial by fire that is getting your beloved spawn into a New York private school. Ms. Krents is Dean of Admissions of the UES Dalton School–which is where half the characters on Gossip Girl went so is undoubtedly the best school in the entire world–and today The New York Times devoted an entire profile to the person Bill Keller once named the most powerful person in New York (so did we, actually!), full of anonymous quotes from parents too terrified to oust themselves and put their children’s chances of getting into the prep school in any danger.
But here’s what you might not know about Ms. Krents…
- She will accept any first-born child into Dalton as long as your second child is given over to her, no questions asked.
- Her office is totally covered in plastic. Not for the kids, of course, but for the inevitable sprinkle of fear-urine every parent leaves behind after their first meeting.
- Her middle name isn’t Babby, and she doesn’t know why people insist on calling her that.
- Ms. Krents has 15 cats, all of whom made it into Harvard with glowing reccomendations.
- She doesn’t believe children under four-years-old should be prepped for their aptitude test (a prerequisite into getting the school). “It’s totally unethical,” she once said, though she thinks giving small children aptitude tests that will decide the rest of their lives is absolutely fine.
- She likes the color lavender, but don’t ever, ever mention that in a meeting with her. Or make eye contact.
-Ms. Krents is the real-life version of the sorting hat from Harry Potter, but oddly enough, she’s never read the books.
-She really doesn’t like it when parents ask if their child will be able to join the Warblers.
- She’s a vegetarian, but still eats fish.
- Her admission process involves a poster board, poloroids of every child who applied that year, and 10 blow-darts.