New York Investment Banker Sends 1,615 Word Email Re: You Leading Him On During Your Date Together

She's just not that into you!

american psycho 1 New York Investment Banker Sends 1,615 Word Email Re: You Leading Him On During Your Date Together

"At least he doesn't have roommates." - You

We’re sorry…we know this is super embarrassing, but someone on Reddit found the crazy letter from that investment banker you were dating. You know which one…the guy you met at the Philharmonic who started stalking you after Date One because you wouldn’t call him back, so he was forced to Google your name till he found your email? Remember?

The guy who essentially created a spreadsheet detailing how you led him on because you played with your hair during dinner and said “It was nice to meet you” after your first date?

Anyway, we hate to be the ones to tell you, but that letter is all over the Internet now, and we thought you would like to know since you two are keeping the engagement kind of a secret right now.

Looking forward to the wedding,
Us
Update: By the way, you might want to go check on your ex. He’s not doing too well either.

Hi Lauren,

I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.

FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email. I’m not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I’m honest and direct by nature, and I’m going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.

I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.

Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:

-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.

-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.

-You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said–that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.

-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.

In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.

Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don’t go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I’m curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it’s difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).

I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.

Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don’t, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition, even if you don’t want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn’t want to go again. Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.

If you don’t want to go again, then apparently you didn’t think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind. In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.

If you’re not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn’t given those mixed signals. I feel led on. We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future. As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You’re very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part. According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age. I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that. I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you. I’ve gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I’m not a serial dater. Sometimes, I’ve only gone out with a woman for one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the potential we have.

Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it’s better to be sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite, insensitive people in the world.

I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.

If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.

If you don’t want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals). In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again. I have tried to write this email well, but it’s not perfect. Again, I’m not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I’m disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back. Even if you don’t want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.

Best, Mike

Comments

  1. Guest says:

    I wouldn’t consider an investment manager as an investment banker

    1. Anonymous says:

      This is the media. If you do anything with numbers you’re an “investment banker”. Edward Jones rep in a strip mall in Topeka? Investment banker. Teller in the drive through handing out suckers to kids? Investment banker. 

  2. Ken Lord says:

    Sometimes Aspergers is pretty easy to recognize.

    1. Jeremy Mash says:

      It’s sad that so many people are deeming him as “Psycho” or “crazy” or a “loser” when it’s pretty dang obvious that he just has a social disorder.

      1. Anonymous says:

        You are 100 per cent right — he’s psycho crazy.

      2. john smith says:

        no matter what ur social disorders may be, and i have enough of them to know what im talking about. u dont write a chic uve met one time a 1600 word letter pouring your heart out to her when shes obviously not interested. hell u dont google their info to begin with. if they want u to have it then they will give it to you. i dont care who the fuck you are there’s no excuse for bein a fuckin stalker. im bipolar, have multiple personality disorder, and asperger’s to top it off and u dont see me pullin this shit

      3. Johmparnel says:

        Social disorder usually means other disorders. The disorder displayed in this email provides me with a belief that he could become a more serious type offender and is totally unhealthy. If she doesn’t want to see him again, he most likely displayed these disordes and tendencies on the date, enough so that she probably doesn’t see it fit to see him again, and I don’t blame her. In fact I would advise her to stay as far away from him as possible. Quite frankly, I also find a few of his statments to be hypocritical based on the amount of single dates he states he’s been on. He’s childish, over sensitive, and puts way too much credit into things like eye contact and playing with hair…eye contact is a respect thing, not a come on or meant to be misleading.

      4. James Hogg says:

        Not to mention too much credit in what he learns from google and internet. Go ahead, google it. It’s true.

      5. drunicusequus says:

        Why date him then, unless she likes free dinners? I realize she has no interest in him, but why say yes to even one date?
        I think the fact that she would follow up a blow off by posting a private (and heartfelt) E-mail to be a good indicator of what a cruel b-tch she actually is.
        Frankly, I think he’s better off without her. And his thoughts, though they indicate someone with limited social skills, are rational, non-threatening, logical, and coherent.
        But he is terribly clueless about women.
        Frankly, dating women is a hideous waste of time & money. Go to the gym and then go to nightclubs regularly. Much much much more effective.

      6. wallis says:

        We are sick, we are sick,
        We are sick, sick, sick,
        Like we’re sociologically sick!

      7. Guest says:

        I agree about the eye contact thing etc.,  but still, she should have told him politely she doesn’t want to go on a second date with him.

      8. MW says:

        I’ve been stalked like this.  (By another woman no less.)  This isn’t a social disorder, the guy is sick.  He’s dilberately making outragous comments to force and reaction from her and therefore communications to feed his twisted obsession.  If she doesn’t call him, he’ll start calling her boss or her friends and family, sounding completely normal, saying he hasn’t heard from her in a while and he’s concerned.  Good thing she saved (and broadcasted the email.) 

    2. Evan Cooper says:

      Yeah, that’s it on the money. I don’t think he’s dangerous, as johmparnel implies below. He’s just trying to cram the emotional/social peg into the analytical/quantitative whole, and it’s not adding up, which is a common hang up for folks on the spectrum. 

      1. Chicago Coltrane says:

        An obsessive personality disorder, if it is one, does not make him dangerous or a stalker. The letter screams obsessive personality; he’s writing her after being rejected, and he continually repeats himself. He’s so obsessed that he lectures her in hopes that she’ll change her mind. If the writer weren’t human, it would be funny. These comments are funny. His email is a tragedy.

      2. Guest says:

        To be fair, he wouldn’t have behaved like this probably if she said she wasn’t interested in a second date politely, or stops now and explains why she behaved the way she did and apologizes for not replying.

    3. Mel says:

      Yea, no. I have Asperger’s and would never do anything remotely like this. Just because we have trouble picking up on social cues doesn’t mean we’re reactive like this. From life experience/watching tv you learn quickly that no calls or texts back is a rejection.

      1. john smith says:

        u said it Mel. lol i hate people who talk about a mental disfunction like they know what the fuck it is. when they obviously dont. i have asperger’s too and there aint no way in hell that i would be that damn creepy lol it doesnt take a damn rocket scientist to see the fine line between calling someone back and goin all crazy stalker guy on them

      2. Swatt says:

        I don’t think Ken was speaking of your potential Mel, within autism spectrum disorder there are plenty of different levels of functionality and the disorder manifests itself in different ways in each individual.  

      3. byootifulmynd says:

        I agree. Spectrum disorders manifest in many ways and no two people will manifest in the same way. Certainly can’t be sure he has Asperger’s, but he certainly seems concrete and rigid, among other things. I also understand not wanting to be lumped in with someone who would write something so bizarre.

      4. J sterling says:

        I was just about to post about how it sounded like the guy is on the autism spectrum.

      5. Anonymous says:

        Actually imo, if a  person with aspergers volunteered an analysis of their own disorder, I would be inclined to trust it.

      6. Glearner says:

        Perhaps you should write to Ken expressing your thoughts on this matter in more detail?

    4. Anonymous says:

       Oh Ken Lord :) . You are so intelligent, insulting people with Aspergers! People with disabilities are stalkers, everyone! It’s all about Aspergers, and nothing to do with objectifying women and considering them inferior and worthy of stalking!

      And being ableist clearly makes you awesome and manly and hilarious. I am so impressed.

      At Swatt: your point being… that Ken wasn’t offensive? Because he still was. Incredibly, shamefully, pathetically offensive.

      1. byootifulmynd says:

        I can’t speak for Ken. I can only assume he didn’t mean to be disrespectful. But as a psychologist, a spectrum disorder was my initial thought, too. I do not in any way intend to be insulting, but I was just sensitive to that possibility. There are other possibilities too… 

    5. Diana Prince says:

      Asperger’s has nothing to do with stalking. If we’re playing armchair psychiatrists, I’d be more likely to say this guy has Hypomania.

    6. Birdface says:

       guy

    7. Birdface says:

      First of all I apparently don’t know how to post on here. Anyway, guys, I have autism, I’d never write anyone an email like this (probably because I am a girl and not crazy entitled like some straight men are) and I don’t know anyone with autism who would. He’s just a dick. A specific point: a lot of people with autism grow up knowing we don’t do or get body language the same as other people so I find it hard to believe we would write someone an email telling her what her body language is supposed to mean. It’s usually people without disabilities who assume they know what other people mean (understandably, since they are more likely to know).

      Basically you may think you’re being nice or empathetic by excusing this man’s awful and hilarious behavior by saying it comes from a disability–but it’s not that nice when you inadvertently insult a whole group of people in the process?

  3. Opinion says:

    In my opinion, I have opinions.
    Somebody love me.

  4. MNIONLI says:

    HOLY CRAP YOUR CRAZY MIKE, you need to learn to not be so crazy, what is your deal I think you have issues like a bagger, a smelly smelly bager women dont like bagers they like bunnies and spronglies  you should do that instead but YOU CRAZY

    1. Jeremy Mash says:

      He probably has Autism or Aspergers.  He’s not crazy, just socially dysfunctional.  

      1. Asperger’s is something that most people adapt to by the time they have grown up – it can’t be used as an excuse or a crutch past a certain point.  My husband is an Aspi and even he would have been totally creeped out by this email.

  5. swedishchef says:

    I write better than an investment manager with a more than reasonable salary and a job with room for growth.  I am a cook.  I will look forward to forthcoming job offers and fat paychecks. 

  6. Notaloserbutbroke says:

    Lmao loser is a loser. You are alone and will always be alone. Yeah dating is soooo hard.
    I hate men like this, just pure mother coddled pure pussifacation. BE A MAN. Loser, I make 1/100th what you do but get laid more in a month than you will in a decade or two.  You are a loser and this kinda loser stuff is what made her not want you in the first place. You carry the stink of your virgin life. No woman will want you, they will use you for money than screw your friends. Not saying women are bad, just your a real loser at heart.

    1. Women Like This Crap says:

      You’re an ugly bitter human being…so there’s that….

    2. IdiotsAbound says:

      I doubt you “get laid” at all broke boy…ahhh I mean by women of course. 

    3. Sad says:

      You are quite a royal cunt. Obviously he is deranged and completely socially inept, but your hyper macho talk is equally pathetic. You get laid more in a month than he will in a decade? Perhaps that’s true, in fact it probably is, but in no way does his motive appear to be picking up some strange pussy. Clearly he is looking for someone who he can relate to and spend time with, in ways that go beyond her sitting on his couch watching him play Modern Warfare 3, Madden etc. (an experience that your sad little response suggests you are all too familiar with). 

      The point is that you are both losers albeit on opposite ends of the spectrum. He is a wealthy but socially clueless wreck and you are a broke neanderthal who dredges up artificial self worth from the depths of a meaningless existence.

  7. Guest says:

    I wish that everyone I dated was as articulate and clear as this fellow.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Manages parents investments != investment banker

  9. Guest says:

    I think Lauren dodged a bullet there…..

    1. eve says:

      no two ways about it.dodged a hail of bullets is more where i’m headed.and as far away from “way to verbose” mikey the invester of his parents money.wow i would call him back only to tell him to shut his yap.mean but  oh so  necessary.and why doesn’t he just buy a stupid second date?

  10. thehacker says:

    Has anyone checked to see that Lauren isn’t lying strangled in a ditch somewhere?  I’m concerned about that girl’s welfare and anyone else that guy lays keen eyes on.  Way to keep perpetuating those stereotypes of investment bankers being egotistical s—heads, Mike.

  11. The Observer is a pathetic rag says:

    You’re sorry? What a pathetic piece of journalism and a sorry excuse for a news article…

    Has the author, or the editor of this rag ever done, said, or emailed something embarassing to a member of the opposite sex?!

    I bet if you had you would be mortified to see it appear in print…For shame you disgusting TMZ wannabee parasites. What goes around comes around though, don’t complain when someone digs up your dirty laundry and posts it for the world to see.

    Truly disgusted.

    1. Felyx Leiter says:

      WHOA, this goes way beyond a simple dating e-mail gaffe.  This guy stalked a woman online and berated her after she didn’t return his calls, while simultaneously claiming to understand every aspect of her body language and claiming they’re a perfect match–after one date.  This kind of behavior SHOULD be called out–it’s not okay to do this to someone.

  12. Women Like This Crap says:

    Really a gross, shameful piece…

    Is this what our world is coming to? I mostly blame women for lapping this sort of thing up with a spoon…It’s why CNN reports on Lohan’s instead of the budget crisis….Because 90% of the dumb dumb women in this country don’t care about law, government, politicts, etc…

    This is what they demand instead…I’m guessing this is the sort of story you spend your days forwarding to your friends and posting on facebook…

    Remember when losers had to stand in line at the grocery store to pick up headlines and stories like these? You know, before mainstream news became the enquirer…

    1. Foxfire says:

      Hey man, dudes like awful crap too! Face it, this country is 90% lazy slackers who’d rather look at caption-studded cat pictures and celebrities in swimsuits than bother with actual thinking.

      And then you’ve got the assholes like us who just bitch about what folks are paying attention to.

    2. News Nag says:

      You’re fear and hatred of women shows what a little scared witless child you are. Anything you’ve said here is trash and degrees of misogyny and other ignorance. Your mental voice sounds like flatulence. Thought you should know.

    3. Felyx Leiter says:

      Right, because women are the ones who care about Lindsay Lohan’s tits, Einstein.  A man stalks a woman online to tell her how awful she is after one date, and this is somehow the fault of women worldwide?  Get a grip.

    4. Multatuli6 says:

      I think we’ve found the writer of this letter, and his sig is “Women Like This Crap”!

  13. Clisterj says:

    LOL at this site pulling the comments of people who say this is a trash piece…and then leaving the comments up from women demonizing this guy and calling him a scum bag and a loser…

    Bravo observer…

    You know where your bread is buttered ;)

  14. lol@mike says:

    Poor,delusional,pathetic,creepy,desperate,sad,stalker,psycho Mike. Need I say more? I think I will….Mike’s e-mail has got to be 1 of the most entertaining reads of 2011. His words express the depth of horseshit that he must have verbally vomitted on his first date w/Lauren. Speaking of 2011, most intelligent men know that if a women doesn’t call back ,then she isn’t interested…..GET A CLUE MIKE! Apparently no one gave Mike the memo? I think Lauren escaped w/her life. Guys like Mike have no social skills w/the ladies and have no idea how to interpret “signals” when on a date. This would explain why they are single well into their 40’s and usually end up being serial killers. LOL. Mike has officially won my “Creepy Mc Creeper” award. Enough said.

    1. Not Mike says:

      In his defense, she did play with her hair a lot…

      1. Hopeful says:

        Maybe she was trying to pull her hair out in despair and he wasn’t able to accurately judge the force being applied?

        I think if she’d played with HIS hair a lot… Now that, that would definitely hint at some interest in a second date. Chest hair especially.

  15. samiel says:

    And that’s how I stopped being so clingy ^.^

  16. Theo says:

    D wimmen B fickle
     an no tickle D pickle

    So dis guy make a ledder
    …mayB gedder an bedder

    But D words day  R leaked
    an we sneaked an we peeked

    My say dat he flubbed it
    An so fer D luv bit, he’ll jus hav to rub it

    1. Adcoy says:

      faaaaaannnnnnttttttaaaaaaatic.  Loved this post

    2. JC says:

      THEO…  Impressive poem. 

    3. Lauren says:

      I’d go on a date with you WAAAYYY before this guy just based on your poetic skills.

      1. john smith says:

        he is good with words lol haha. keep up the good work theo lol

    4. john smith says:

      by the sound of things hell be rubbin it like a monkey in a damn mango tree for the rest of his life if he dont stop bein so damn creepy. for christs sake hes a fuckin stalker lol

    5. Tom says:

      good shit lol

    6. Beckay66 says:

      My friend went out with this weirdo. They met on ok Cupid and trust me he did not look like his photos. Same story one date followed by lengthy douche psycho email. He was an analyst with Goldman though claimed to be on the verge of partner then with some other firm Tinicum. Mike Fantasia is his name. My friend found him so creepy that after the email wondered if she should alert police. She was that unsettled by the email. Definitely the same guy.

      1. drunicusequus says:

        Analysts at Goldman can make six figures, but this guy’s main problem is weakness. And your friend probably prefers bouncers and personal trainers, anyway.
        When I was single, I had several rules. To wit:
        1) Never ever buy a woman I haven’t slept with either dinner or drinks. She’ll see it as weakness, as a form of bribery.
        2) Never take a woman on a date.There’s lots of them in nightclubs that are beautiful and willing; dates are pointless, uncomfortable, and usually unsuccessful.
        I used to date, until I’d see my date from a few weeks prior leaving the bar with some illiterate meathead. I quickly decided to become a meathead, albeit a fairly educated, literate meathead.
        3) This unfortunate young man mentions, several times, that he’s sensitive. Women loathe that.
        So I definitely became the type of man who would not he regarded as a “nice” guy. “Nice” is girl speak for “you will never ever see me naked.”
        I’m occasionally kind, often charming, usually witty, but always dominant, strong, and slightly contemptuous. But never ever nice.
        4) Beautiful young women tend to prefer cocky, swaggering jerks. Act accordingly. Large muscles, expensive wristwatches, motorcycles, sports cars, and the body language of a Marine officer will equal lots of female attention.
        “Sensitive,” generous, compliant, or indecisive behavior is a great path to celibacy.
        Jockish cockiness, swagger, physical and social dominance, and decisive, commanding behavior will invariably result in dating success, as men would define it, which is reproductive success.
        So if I did bother getting a phone number (usually it was offered) I rarely had to leave more than one message. There were one or two very beautiful women who I remember didn’t call me back, but this didn’t bother me on the least.
        Weaklings like this poor fellow who wrote this whining, pathetic screed make me laugh.
        Thank god I’m married now. American women (my wife excepted) are mostly chubby, entitled, egotistical, dishonest, mean-spirited, entitled, spoiled children.

      2. banker girl says:

        Honestly, any guy should pay for dinner. Even if they’re friends.

      3. DevilzCry says:

        Any guy should pay for dinner, even if they’re friends? If I was going to pay $20-$100 for a meal and i knew i wasn’t getting balls deep, I would rather go to a Strip Club..

      4. Anonymous says:

        obviously, you spend a lot of time in strip clubs….douche.

      5. DevilzCry says:

        None at all infact. But I think it’s utterly fucking ridiculous some Women believe a men should pay for everything.. Women like that are the ones always complaining about not fining Mr Right. Because the poor guy is still out working to save enough money to feed his stupid female friends.

      6. Guest says:

        So if you spend $20 with a girl she should have sex with you?  Good thing you won’t breed.

      7. DevilzCry says:

        I’ll breed one day with the right women.. And that women will get my money spent on her. BUT i think it’s fucking disgusting that ‘ some ‘ Women believe men should pay for anything regardless of they’re relationship status.. It’s women like these that i would recommend playing Russian roulette with a full clip. SO I wish all the Hypocritical  women out there that want equal right, pay for your own food and you will have what you want.

      8. LW says:

        There’s nothing wrong with a man being a gentleman and paying for a dinner. Sounds like you’ve gotten burned more than a few times. By the way, women don’t have equal pay and until that happens, men can keep paying for dinner.

      9. beatrice says:

        women and men have different rights. Frankly, annoying feminists who say that they want to be treated “equally” are saying they want to be treated as men. It’s a purely debatable topic…

      10. beatrice says:

        no. Uh, seriously do men only pay dinner for the sex? They should pay dinner since it’s the gentlemanly thing to do and of course it compensates for the sh-t women go through to look presentable

      11. Yuri says:

        No way. Go Dutch if JUST friends. Only for best friends and genuine friends (of which there are only a few for each person) should you pay for – and that’s cos they are worth it. Every other woman outside of this close circle is not worth a dime – they lack the respect and would just take unfair advantage of any offer. My friends would not, and they’d call it a loan which they would pay back.

      12. That’s so dumb. I’d like to treat women as my equal in every respect tyvm.

      13. callmeMD says:

        What is wrong with a woman paying for her own dinner?(I am a woman fyi)

      14. Hopeful says:

        Absolutely nothing wrong with a woman paying for her own dinner. Or offering to pay for mine. Do we still get to sleep together??

      15. hahaha says:

        hahahaha “bankergirl”…..typical low end c-grade gold digger i assume

        any guy should hold the door open for women, lift heavy objects, etc…….
        but LOL@you:disqus  for thinking guys should ALWAYS pay for dinner

      16. beatrice says:

        hahahahha, sorry it was funny how you wrote “bankergirl”. But honestly, paying for dinner is the least a guy can do considering the amount of money and time a girl invests to look “presentable” etc. 

      17. Hopeful says:

        I like the way you think. Can we go to dinner? Don’t worry about making yourself presentable, I believe in relationships starting in a spirit of complete honesty: I’ll see what you really look like without layers of slap, I’ll pay for dinner, and then we can sleep together with a clear conscience. Hopefully we’ll both enjoy a fantastic night of passion, and we can debate the pros and cons of a second date over breakfast. Which I’ll make with ingredients I paid for, while you trowel your makeup on to go to work. No?

      18. your dinner date says:

        Agreed, the guy should pay for dinner. Here’s why. You want your date to look pretty, right? Nice hair, tasteful make-up, manicure, stylish clothes, right? Do you have any idea how much this @#$% stuff costs and how much time is spent in maintenance? Plus, women’s clothes are always going out of style and need to be updated and the shoes need to match the dress – rrrr. Crazy expensive and time consuming.

        If you had to choose between footing the $100 bill for dinner or paying for even 1/2 of this stuff, you’d lunge at the dinner check.

      19. B_K_Malo says:

        “Any guy shoud pay for dinner” = whore.

      20. "M" says:

        “but this guy’s main problem is weakness.”

        This is NOT this guy’s main problem.

      21. 1Homerj says:

        You quickly decided to be a total jerk you mean. Grow fucking up, the world does not revolve around you. Good luck having your marriage last more than a couple of years.

      22. Self Object says:

        This newspaper need to grow up…

      23. Jamesfutch says:

        Very lucid response, sir.

      24. Hawkblaze says:

        I totally agree with drunicusequus, women want a ‘bad boy’ that they can turn good..that’s all

      25. Anonymous says:

        Wow. There’s a club for you. Just read the article. You belong.

      26. 1stRoundKO says:

        hahah what you painted yourself as quite the casanova
        typical BETA male getting out Alpha’d by superior physical specimens as evident by his dismay at “personal trainers and bouncers”……….the whole “you gotta be a jerk/A-hole to get the girls” is so 1997

      27. Guest says:

        One, you come across as an inconsiderate jerk.

        Two, this guy is creepy because (1) he tries to guilt her into a second date, (2) demands that she write him an apology for “leading him on” for an entire date (what is that? a couple hours?),  (3) tries to bribe her into a second date,  (4) attempts to use emotional manipulation to get a second date (5) tells her to lower her expectations, and (6) uses a couple of almost threats.

         (7) He does all of that while acknowledging that she doesn’t appear to be interested in him or desire a second date.  He then starts trying to reason that spending time with him wouldn’t be *that* inconvenient all while begging for another date.

        Essentially,  he shows no regard for what she wants and is attempting to force her into a relationship.  None of that means he’s being ridiculed for being weak or too nice.  It means he is being mocked for trying to force a woman into a relationship and doing it badly.

        You come across as a creepy jerk because your only criticism of the guy is that he isn’t forceful or inconsiderate enough in his pursuit. 

      28. Guest says:

        tl:dr  find a girl with daddy issues and  treat her like crap.

      29. Moises Benitez says:

        Right on

      30. Superfreak says:

        You said American women are entitled….twice! Somewhat literate my ass!!!

      31. Matt Blowers says:

        Your wife is one lucky broad!!  

      32. Mallenorg says:

        Drunicusequus, you and Mike Fantasia would make a lovely couple.

      33. JustMe says:

        And as a result, you’ll end up with a bubble-headed bleach blonde with no brains or personality. But that’s precisely what you deserve. When you think so little of the opposite sex, you will get very little in return. Pathetic!

      34. Just another guy says:

        Sadly, drunicusequus  speaks the truth, as grisly and disconcerting at it is.    Alas, I was/am one of the legions of ‘sensitive’ fellows who thought the way to a good ‘girl next door’s heart and affections was via considerate attention and generosity (money, time, attention).     What I, too, learned was that many women inexplicably seek out men who exhibit the most rude, self -centered a-holes – guys that at best are true meatheads and often stray into misogynistic behavior.    What up wit dat?   Low self esteem?  Maybe mistreated (emotionally) by Daddy?  

        Fast forward however to today.   To be clear, the % of the women drunc describes is less than one-half, but how many really, its hard for me to estimate.   I can tell you that the probability of running into such a bimbet skyrockets when you mingle in a nightclub past 10pm.    Must be their natural habitat.  

        For me. I eventually met and married a well adjusted woman who knows what she wants, likes, needs and aspired to.   Happiness personified!    comments?

      35. Guest says:

        Did your friend also behave so inconsiderately as to not even reply when he called back after a few days?

      36. mw says:

        You only know his side of the story.  I can guess that since she tugged at her hair, stared at him a lot, and ended the date with “it was nice meeting you” that she had her reasons for not replying to his multiple followup calls.  At the very least I would have ended the date with “I had a great time.” 

  17. Guest says:

    Lol… Oh I have encountered some of these in life… Then I call them back with a few choice words and leave it at that. Some people need an explanation in order to get the closure they need, however, the hint of her never responding back should state the obvious… Mike, LET IT GO… Lol..you will find happiness some day… Maybe…

  18. misliss says:

    I got bored half way through the email..and didn’t read it all. I am sure this woman deleted it before she finished it too. What a creep.

    1. ratchet says:

      I read all of it as a litmus test.

  19. Nathan says:

    Someone made the aspergers comment/joke before i did and i didnt even read the full letter incase it was a joke itself.

  20. VBDon says:

    What a whimp!!!  This guy needs to have his mother tuck him in at night.

  21. Taryn Truese says:

    He probably killed Laura after the first date, then wrote her the letter as to why she wasn’t responding to his texts.

  22. Nyc3637 says:

    He’s not an investment banker – he’s an investment manager who Daddy gave a few mil to play with.  Big diff/just saying…

  23. Dfsdf says:

    definately didnt read it all

  24. Alaws2000 says:

    Is it because I took poloroid photos of your privates while you were in the bathroom? If you didnt want me to see your panties than you should not have led me on by wearing a skirt or having to pee.

  25. Kat says:

    Ah, poor Mike.  I’ve known so many like you.  I know you can’t see it, but it is painfully clear to most people why Lauren never called you back.

    Lauren seems like a nice polite girl who was probably twirling her hair out of boredom while you droned on logically.  Did you even think to tell her she had pretty eyes while she was making all that polite eye contact?  No?  I didn’t think so; that, dear Mike, is why she didn’t pursue a second date.  She wants more than functional matchmaking.

  26. not anonymous - Judith Ovadia says:

    This isn’t funny. This is disturbing, sad, and frightening. It is also shameful to mock other people’s pain and dysfunction this way.
    What have we become?

  27. Debi_cakes says:

    whatever weather he has autism or aspergers or not  or however anyone judges him  as gives no excuse for this kind of behavior.  If I got a letter like this from this kind of person I would be afraid for my life. I would live in fear that he would stalk me or kill me. This is scary. Actually he needs help or medication or something. Its too bad because deep inside he probably is a good person at heart. He just needs help before he does something really bad.

  28. Kettinafrazier says:

    Lauren is a very smart lady to not have called him back maybe she sensed he was needy and a stalker.

  29. Kettinafrazier says:

    Lauren is a very smart lady to not have called him back maybe she sensed he was needy and a stalker.

  30. Anonymous says:

    If this fellow can write that and then read it back to himself without spotting all the very many disturbing assumptions on his part…He’s just not right and needs help.

  31. Debdebnyc36 says:

    Imteresting… my feeling is that it is GOOD that he
    WROTR what he did. Because it was/is important to be in touch & express ones feelings, thoughts etc. However, that he then actually SENT it to the woman is where the big problem is… Because on its own, having written his feelings is a very healthy thing to do. And then, from there, one can have true insight into ones self, and email it to ones therapist and then take along a printed copy to subsequent therapy sessions,.. and get input from ones therapist, because it expresses his true thoughts and feelings, and it gives a lot of food for thoughy, aNd covers a lot of issues , and he can thereby get an objective reality check… and hopefully work through a lot of issues…. Of course I am assuming – hoping? -+ that he even has a therapist… Aspergers? Perhaps…

  32. handsomeman says:

    is this guy mike gorzynski

  33. Justine_ B says:

    This guys in his 30’s? Wow grow the fuck up man she doesn’t like you.

  34. EIMAJ914 says:

    SO SAD THE THINGS THAT MEN (MYSELF INCLUDED) DO TO GET LAID

  35. poor guy.  i love how everyone here somehow pretends they’ve never left the embarrassing drunk text, drunk voicemail, rambling bbm, or ill-considered facebook message.  yes, it sounds crazy in writing, but at least the guy got the emotions off his chest.  i’m more concerned about those who feel this exact way and bottle the stuff up for their lifetimes.

  36. Abc123 says:

    Its obvious how this was all fake

  37. G-Spot says:

         Wow, that’s barely even “leading on”.  Did anybody hear the story of what Jolene Hui did to Eric Spudic?  She asked if she could tag along on his vacation with him.  4 days in a hotel room together.  How could a guy pass THAT up?  He even politely asked if she wanted one bed or two.  One bed meaning sex, two beds meaning she just wants to be friends.  Common sense.

         So it was pretty justified when Jolene wouldn’t have sex with him.  She confessed that she was just using him to meet another man who happened to live in that area.  Now THAT’S called being “lead on”.

  38. Alejandro says:

    This dude has serious issues. Stop acting like a little bitch, man up and never grovel again. Maricon!

  39. Tom says:

    Wow. He went Walt Disney on her. Whether or not he ends up with her, he’s going to read this email again in a couple years and not know what the hell he was thinking.
     

    You’re being a little sensetive there son. It was 1 date, for all you know you dodged a bullet!

  40. Madridsilvia13 says:

    hahahahahaha!!!! what a poor desilusional egocentric person. I feel pitty fo this guy.

  41. Vlad Patryshev says:

    Woody Allen…

  42. Anonymous says:

    Dear Mike – I don’t want to date you.  Clear enough?

  43. Mark Joyella says:

    This is the same person who has commented annoyingly on everything I’ve ever written online. I’d know the voice anywhere.

  44. Ripmondo says:

    what a jerk………………..write him a scathing letter about why he is such……………

  45. jay says:

    First off, the guy never said he’s an investment banker, but an investment “manager” (this can left for interpretation.)  Secondly, there’s a 95% chance this is a hoax and thirdly, even if its not, there are creeps, weirdos and pyschos from all walks of life, his choice for vocation having nothing to do with it.

  46. The 1% sure has a lot of time on its hands.

  47. Multatuli6 says:

    This passage alone gives huge insight into what their date must have been like and why she doesn’t want to see him again:

    I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back.

    Yet he says he thinks she is, like himself, intelligent. But she couldn’t figure out that she could leave a message on his voicemail? Sheesh.

  48. Maddevill says:

    This guy is a certifiable loony. She should just send an e-mail that says ” Go f–k yourself.” But then he would probably chain saw her in half.

  49. Smitty says:

    My favorite part:  “We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent.”

    How ironic. hahaha

  50. rrrblaze blaze says:

    good reporting.  lets just go on everyones favorite website (hint its not the new york observer) and steal material.  granted you did cite the source, but wow, you are really lazy.  just about anybody could do your job.

  51. OMG how is this guy still single?!?!

  52. nice guy says:

    Been there, done that. Mike’s a nice guy. Better off to be an aloof asshole, ie a jerk, than a sensitive laughingstock like Mike. Better percentage with the ladies.

  53. MightyCasey says:

    “NYC investment wanke … er … banker” is synonymous with narcissistic douchebag.  Just sayin’ …

  54. Mfcarr says:

    he’s a sensitive stalker

  55. Jk says:

    I find it hilarious that Drew Grant thinks this guy is an investmetn banker when it is clear in the letter that he manages his family’s money as his ful time job and is not an investment banker.

  56. Brynneashole says:

    Does anyone know the name of this person?

  57. Mysteron29 says:

    Can you say LOSER!!!

  58. 008longfei says:

    I think this guy’s actions are perfectly rational. He probably didn’t have a chnace with her anyway, so nothing at this point could “hurt” this guy’s chances, including this e-mail.

    This letter isn’t strong enough to press legal charges on, and it costs him nearly nothing to write. There’s no downside to writing this letter, and if a response is given, the upside is pretty clear, him getting a greater than zero chance of getting a second date.

    Use reason.

  59. Devineaura says:

    Maybe she just didn’t think their astrological signs were compatible??? Haha

  60. Laura says:

    I believe if I were still single, I might shave my head so as not to give of inadvertent cues that I might be flirting when the chances were equally great I was simply…bored.

  61. cheesegan says:

     You dodged a date rape with this one. 

  62. Blah says:

    This guy reminds me of an ex that was a complete narcissist and sociopath – he wrote emails JUST like this, it’s like they went to a school for it! So sad.

  63. anne says:

    Classic personality disorder actually. Not a social disorder. Crazy and psycho are just generic words for mental illness afterall. The part that is frightening to me (apart from the stalking tendencies) is that this man is an investment banker. That should scare all of us a little and remind us what is rewarded and not questioned in our society. Read: sociopaths as CEOs and narcissists as investment bankers.

  64. Jenn Liu says:

    I am sure not all men think as much as this one, but who said women over-analysed! I am not sure if I feel sorry or pity him…

  65. sunny gyrl says:

    Women finally get a man who communicates and they still complain.

  66. Faweurouiuo3iu says:

    now im ashamed to say i’m a future banker

  67. Anonymous says:

    I think if anybody out there is familiar with the symptoms, there are a lot of signs in that e-mail that point to Asperger’s. 

    1. Nobody says:

      yup. this sounds exactly like the way a sibling of mine tends to size up relationships — totally concrete. 

  68. john smith says:

    what the fuck is wrong with this guy lol damn hes creepy lol

  69. Mia23 says:

    Hey dude u got serious issues. If u ever wanna find someone to share your life u better stop being that rigid.

    Wat a freak!

  70. Mary says:

    Wow, does this guy have ISSUES or what?

  71. Little Brother says:

    This guy has some serious issues. He repeats himself over and over in his email like a child who has run out of ways to plead their case. This man is likely and overbearing control freak. He is the type who may someday have a marriage that resluts in spousal abuse. If I were the lady he was writing, I might..and there is a slim chance of it, but I might call him back just to tell him that the reason I would not go out with him again was because I did not like him. This man believes that if he can open a channel of communication he may be able to manipulate, bully, persuade (call it what you will) this lady into seeing him. My advice to the lady is to keep ignoring him and stay the course. My advice to this “investment banker” is that this woman just might have a brother who might just be waiting in  the parking lot when he goes to get in his car. This brother might just have a pointed little “chat” with Mr. Investment Banker that would DEFINATELY convince him that he should date someone else. That meeting might also include little brothers friends Mr. Hillerich and Mr. Bradsby.

  72. Byootifulmynd says:

    Maybe he has Asperger’s.  He was extremely concrete. Did he literally count the times she made eye-contact? 

  73. Anonymous says:

    this is so incredibly creepy, obsessive and selfish. this guy should be given a restraining order. my god the poor woman :S

  74. Mmlowrey says:

    if this guy is also a philosopher/writer, based on this letter, he needs to re-evaluate his life… this is probably the worst wording i have ever read for anything!

  75. k.c.1.4. says:

    this is not real… is it?

  76. David says:

    poor guy, he needs to socialize. 

  77. This guy is (a) not an investment banker and (b) not a Patrick Bateman baller.  Why is it that everyone in finance is in IB?  Imagine talking to a pediatrician or a dermatologist and asking her if she liked being a surgeon.  This guy is just a creepy, nerdy weirdo.  Don’t play to a theme just because it sounds good

  78. Tony Liu says:

    I made a list of bad things about this guy named Henry Yeh. 1. He’s overweight. 2. He smells funny. 3. He’s lazy. 4. He’s irresponsible. 5. He drinks too much. 6. He likes hookers. 7. He has a wide nose. 8. He has really bad breath. 9. He gets drunk and falls asleep on the ground. 10. He’s really broke all the time.

    1. Geofrayadams says:

      Who’s Henry Yeh?

  79. Vin says:

    He sounds  like a decent guy, and Lauren was a bit nasty to him.  She should apologise.

  80. Elijah Lambert says:

    Total Psycho… He belongs in a cage locked up tight. It terrifies me that there are people like him walking around!! 

  81. Brandon says:

    Has anyone found any update to this story? The dude was stalking her did she apply for any
    Type of protection order?

  82. That One Guy says:

    That guy’s just plain creepy.

  83. Anonymous says:

    What an amateur.  He should have made her sign a partnership contract for at least the next six months.  Then he could have gotten her for breach of contract.

    He doesn’t seem to understand social cues.  If a woman is not interested, she signals it by hitting you in the face with a 2×4.  Repeatedly.  Anything else, especially eye contact, is a signal to mate with her immediately.

    Furthermore, what poor marketing!  He should have infected her computer with pop-ups that showed what their hypothetical children would look like.

  84. Guest says:

    oh my God what a dork. Bet he doesn’t get a lot of second dates. Or first ones, if his name ever gets attached to this.

  85. In another age, when letter writing was commonplace, this sort of lengthy heartfelt response would have not been looked at askance. I have mixed feelings reading it, as I’m not sure whether to feel creeped out by him or sympathetic for him. At least he’s a good communicator, and articulate, which is more than I can say for many men these days…The key here is, did he let it drop after this one letter? If not, then he needs help but if this was it, then kudos to him for venting what we all have felt at least once in our lives on the dating merry go round.

  86. PS I think we OWE each other common courtesy. She could have responded by saying” I don’t want to go out again. I’ve met someone. Best wishes”  and that would have been the kind and considerate thing to do. Why do people think they can get away with treating others like dirt these days? It’s really bad behavior.

  87. Plain and simple this dude is just social knuckle dragger! He’s just a self-entitled, egotist!

  88. Guest says:

    dear psycho, i mean, mike- a woman playing with her hair is not a mixed signal; perhaps spending more time with actual women than google would help you to understand that. also, i’m pretty sure this chick made her point when she stopped all communication with you. i’m only guessing here, but i wouldn’t be surprised if after your only date that she picked up on you being a lunatic and ceased communication. make no mistake… when a woman stops communication with you, that is a CLEAR sign she is NOT interested. 

  89. Fibitokot says:

    creepy! I met that type before and I bet he is 5 feet 2 and has bad breath and she is gorgeous. Some think that just being a male he is good enough for any woman

  90. Ben F says:

    You’d be surprised how many doodz think this way. Scary. I think Observer puts it best with the screenshot from American Psycho. Spot on!

  91. Mia Moss says:

    I applaud his nerve to actually send this out, most men, wouldn’t be so open and vulnerable. And women do this mess everyday, so we don’t have much room for comment, but unfortunately Mike the email makes you sound desperate and needy, which is not a good look at all!

  92. Diego23 says:

    dude  and anyone else out there acting like a fool needs a good lesson from my boy Arkady39 on Youtube, he will set you straight.

    Guy’s #1 problem = super EGO and try to rationalize all kinds of $h1+, if she likes you, she will chase you.  End of story.  If she doesn’t, improve yourself and do not call her.

    Thanks.

  93. concord says:

    creepy…

    but still, I wonder what your reactions would be, if this stalker creep was actually a girl

  94. Anonymous says:

    “It was nice to meet you” must have been the only words his continual, self-gratifying, incessant rambling must have allowed her to say all night!

  95. obnoxious feminist ;) says:

    I got this great letter from I get I met on match.  Thank God I never went out with him, because he is clearly a misogynist.  Happy reading!

    Julie,
    It was nice talking to you as well although its been weeks, I do recall it.. lol.
    I kinda moved on to talking and meeting other people in the meanwhile. It just didn’t seem like finding a husband is your top priority in life, otherwise you would not be trying to force people in around your schedule. All adults work during the week as you know. They usually go out on weekends. If your priority is as such, stated below, it was already obvious to me and just confirmed. You are not looking to find a husband and you’re not on the same page as I am in general. I”m not a believer that things just fall out of a tree and hit you on the head, and I don’t believe a man should follow a woman around either. He has to have his head on straight, priorities and goals in order.. and you can sure bet that every single woman, once she commits to a guy, will berate h! im if h e isn’t .. and blame him for not being “focused”… which is the paradoxical nature of your gender… you expect us to follow you and chase you until we catch you and then the poles reverse and we’re supposed to be ‘focused’… lol. I’ve seen it plenty, so thats why I don’t chase women around, and certainly you don’t return phone calls or messages in a timely manner, whether its due to work or losing your phone, whatever the reason… from my end, and my vantage point your priorities are not where they need to be to mesh with my life and plans…. this is correct.
    I am open to ‘friendships’ but given that you never even tried to schedule a date with me, b/c there was always some other priority or emergency in the way… except you apparently thought that I would jump to and run to fill in a slot when it opened up for you… I don’t think this is something I want. I consider it a bit rude and off kilter for a younger woman to act that way. You should be receptive to being asked out by a man Julie, and making yourself available, asking friends and family to take a short raincheck… to meet the man. If you want a family, thats what you need to do. If you’re content to live in a small apartment with cats your whole life…well I’d say that you’re already set up with that type of a lifestyle. What be on this website ? If you find men who are going to cater to the type of schedule you have put out there, then they aren’t men at all. They are boys .Men run countries and companies. I don’t run the country, but I do run my company. I have too much going on during the week.. and now looking for $500K in investment I’ve got investor presentations due on Wednesday, I have meetings to organize and trips overseas… the only time I have to go OUT on dates is on the weekends. I cannot devote what little free time I have to people I barely know at this point. A girlfriend, someone who is interested in marriage to me, will have plenty of time with me during! the week… but we aren’t going to be out on dates all the time either.
    Having said that, its probably best to just part ways. I hope you give it some thought about how you appear from a distance. A bit pessimistic and self-centered, but at the same time nice. I certainly left dozens of messages and put myself out there. The idea that you thought I would just ‘mesh’ into a schedule that doesn’t make any sense to me at all as a working professional, is strange. I wouldn’t know how to even begin being a ‘friend’ to someone I don’t know very well Julie. I’m also dating other women. When I see a woman put career and friends ahead of making herself available to meet me…the potential husband and father of our children… I just exit that quickly. I’ve not tried to contact you as much and I deleted your phone # and put the vibe out there, which you must have gotten thru the ether… that I”m done. I was interested, now I”m not. Feminism is absurd, and its manipulated the minds of too many women. The only think holding the fort down is men like me, unwilling to be swept downriver like the other idiots. Someone has to procreate, besides the immigrants… LOL. I just feel like you don’t have a clue that what you present is a bit obnoxious because you’re wholly unaware of how it appears. I hope you try to rectify it. Most women do not put work, cats, and friends and family every week, ahead of finding their man. So I”m talking to a half dozen other people and its getting hard to keep the names and stories straight, and I’ve forgotten most of what we talked about now. I had a date this weekend, and it was fine. Most people’s schedules (aside from you) mesh with mine very well.
    I’m sure you are a nice person. Your priorities are just askew.
    Take care and best wishes during the holidays
    Mark

  96. Strawberri_kerri says:

    Hahahaha omg

  97. Asdjklajkl says:

    He is an investment manager! not an investment banker if you don’t believe, me google it.

    yes that last bit was intentional

  98. Ravel33 says:

    My friend went out with this weirdo. They met on ok Cupid and trust me he did not look like his photos. Same story one date followed by lengthy douche psycho email. He was an analyst with Goldman though claimed to be on the verge of partner then with some other firm Tinicum. Mike Fantasia is his name. My friend found him so creepy that after the email wondered if she should alert police. She was that unsettled by the email. Definitely the same guy.

  99. Mstahl says:

    creepy freaky little f*cker isn’t he?

  100. Anonymous says:

    This guy needs a LOT of help.  I see no point in why he should live-on otherwise.  The only logical alternative is euthanasia.  He’s evidently a complete social retard, that pretty-much cripples all aspects of life.

  101. "M" says:

    And also egomania.  “I’m disappointed in you”?

    Who does he think he is, her mom?

  102. Anonymous says:

    My Theory: he was drunk, and as he was writing he was getting drunker as the letter went on.

  103. Anonymous says:

        I have never really understood the dating dynamics in the USA. Although it would appear that the male to female ratio, is roughly 50/50, there seems to always be 10-15 men, vying for the attention of each female.  What is the reason for this, are we secretly murdering female babies like in China? Are woman being abducted by aliens?  Is it a looks thing? For example- Maybe there are so many ugly and/or overweight woman, that any decent looking woman, will have 15 men fighting to date her?   Anyway, I have no patience for American woman, although I am American myself. Their games and idiosyncrasies soon grew tiresome to me.  I wound up dating, and eventually marrying an Asian.  My advice to men-  Date anything other than spoiled, white, American woman. Date Black woman, Hispanic, Asian, European, anything but those spoiled, immature, egotists.

  104. Understarryskies2nite says:

    oh my effn gawd!!!!

  105. Smail Buzzby says:

    This woman probably wrote this letter to herself after he wouldn’t call her back…

  106. Anonymous says:

    Writing me a long, creepy email where you say you’re not as interested in me, or that you’re disappointed in me would probably end in me filing some sort of restraining order.  what a sad, weird man.  :( 

  107. Anonymous says:

    DSK, Gingrich, Cain, write in the name.   And people don’t seem to care.

  108. Ca12ny says:

    He just sounds BORING, which is worse then being poor and ugly.

  109. kamikrazee says:

    Lauren:      buy a Taser.   maybe two of them.    become proficient at using them. 
     
    I’d really like to evaluate this guy as an investment banker.     He is either real bad at it, or real good…..

  110. Eeddccbb says:

    Tl;dr

  111. RAU says:

    Put this guy on jail NOW!!!! Serial rapist/killer in the making! Freak!!!!!!

  112. WellHungMillionaire says:

    funny how people label anyone in finance as an “investment banker”…

    learn the proper definitions before publishing these articles

  113. Symphony7 says:

    Mike needs to cut the embilical cord.  Then he would realize no one actually owes you anything except, legally, that they are not allowed to touch or kill you.-So obviously biased towards women, isn’t it? It used to be, it was legal to kill and touch a woman, even when they claimed they didn’t want you to touch or kill them.  
    In Kurdistan, if you manage to kidnap a woman, and it isn’t difficult, she is required to become your bride.  That is how my husband proposed to me–by surprising me with plane tickets to Kurdistan when we were dating.  I didn’t know about this custom at the time, it ended up being a wonderful surprise.  When we (so I thought) were sleeping in our hotel, a masked man broke in with five friends, and they all took me out to a van and raped me over and over. “No, no stop! I have a boyfriend!” I screamed, as the tour guide had instructed for such events. but they wouldn’t stop.  Then, they took me to a rural hut and tied me up alone in a chicken coop where I eventually fell asleep.  Then, in the morning, one of the men came in, took of his mask, and it was my husband! “Surprise honey! We’re legally married now,  according to Kurdistan law!” I was so happy, I cried, for hours and hours.  So you see, Lauren is pretty much just a B*tch and a H*. Lauren, I say to you what we say in Kurdistan to women of your ilk:  Kerim Bimzha, Heez.I hope one day that Lauren buys a sub prime floating interest rate mortgage.  That’ll show her. 

  114. crazycrazymike says:

    Dear Lauren,
    If you are reading this, I want you to search your rational thought process and understand that this has obviously gotten out of proportion.  The media is just a pack of buzzards waiting for a good innocent heart like mine to get themselves in some mess like this so they can profit.  If you can for a moment step back and regroup to the point of if you had read this email without things going public, and it won’t be hard for you to do that I think because of the compassion you exhibited on our date, we will be able to communicate in a clear-thinking and productive fashion.

    I don’t know why they chose my email to be the one thrown to the dogs, representing the plight of no doubt millions of eligible albeit somewhat naive bachelors.  I am positive that many many sane people now happily married and in relationships have sent emails or communications of this nature, and why is it that a person has to be mocked just because they’ve sent clear, simple, honest communication.  Even though I am being made fun of on the internet, I would not be surprised if half of the people commenting on this post and at Gawker have sent “crazy” emails of this nature, and this is why they find humor in it–because it is so close to their own existence.

    I do not care, and I see it of no consequence, and I merely ask that you reply to my original email, sidestepping any spin off that has arisen from the media backlash, and answer my inquiry: Why did you decide to lead me on, if you were not planning to continue seeing me afterwards?

    I still stand by my old principles, because I am a person who states my values however unpopular of an act that is, that it is immature and impolite to lead someone on.  There is an epidemic in our country of prolonged adolescence that for some reason encourages otherwise savvy and stellar businesswomen to engage in such behavior with men.  Maybe it is the breakdown of the American family model, maybe it is the fact that there is no clear maturation process for courtship rituals anymore, to use archaic terms.

    Either way, there is one amendment I need to make to the initial point of my email, and it is that it did not occur to me that maybe you were not returning my calls, emails, and texts because you wanted to make me even more interested–or perhaps had a work or family crisis that needed to be dealt with.

    If this is the case, all i would require is a simple communication indicating as much, no longer than 7 or 8 words even, letting me know that you are dealing with something that restricts your standard socializing behaviors.

    If you were simply trying to get me to develop a greater interest in you by not immediately returning and of my communications, I should let you know that this is not as effective with more evolved men, and while I would find forgiveness and even humor in the idea, I would rather hear back from you than have to go through any sort of obstacle course simple to enjoy any potential chemistry we would both benefit from.  

    If you have been trying to merely pique my interest by pretending to ignore me, which has now been sidestepped by this publication of my private email to you, please do not hesitate to contact me and we will be able to resume on our original course.

    Sincerely,

    *2#7!37^^*_09?”;,.OOedjjfPIHU(@(*~L~K88******(37394772%^#%

  115. crazycrazymike says:

    Dear Lauren,
    If you are reading this, I want you to search your rational thought process and understand that this has obviously gotten out of proportion.  The media is just a pack of buzzards waiting for a good innocent heart like mine to get themselves in some mess like this so they can profit.  If you can for a moment step back and regroup to the point of if you had read this email without things going public, and it won’t be hard for you to do that I think because of the compassion you exhibited on our date, we will be able to communicate in a clear-thinking and productive fashion.

    I don’t know why they chose my email to be the one thrown to the dogs, representing the plight of no doubt millions of eligible albeit somewhat naive bachelors.  I am positive that many many sane people now happily married and in relationships have sent emails or communications of this nature, and why is it that a person has to be mocked just because they’ve sent clear, simple, honest communication.  Even though I am being made fun of on the internet, I would not be surprised if half of the people commenting on this post and at Gawker have sent “crazy” emails of this nature, and this is why they find humor in it–because it is so close to their own existence.

    I do not care, and I see it of no consequence, and I merely ask that you reply to my original email, sidestepping any spin off that has arisen from the media backlash, and answer my inquiry: Why did you decide to lead me on, if you were not planning to continue seeing me afterwards?

    I still stand by my old principles, because I am a person who states my values however unpopular of an act that is, that it is immature and impolite to lead someone on.  There is an epidemic in our country of prolonged adolescence that for some reason encourages otherwise savvy and stellar businesswomen to engage in such behavior with men.  Maybe it is the breakdown of the American family model, maybe it is the fact that there is no clear maturation process for courtship rituals anymore, to use archaic terms.

    Either way, there is one amendment I need to make to the initial point of my email, and it is that it did not occur to me that maybe you were not returning my calls, emails, and texts because you wanted to make me even more interested–or perhaps had a work or family crisis that needed to be dealt with.

    If this is the case, all i would require is a simple communication indicating as much, no longer than 7 or 8 words even, letting me know that you are dealing with something that restricts your standard socializing behaviors.

    If you were simply trying to get me to develop a greater interest in you by not immediately returning and of my communications, I should let you know that this is not as effective with more evolved men, and while I would find forgiveness and even humor in the idea, I would rather hear back from you than have to go through any sort of obstacle course simple to enjoy any potential chemistry we would both benefit from.  

    If you have been trying to merely pique my interest by pretending to ignore me, which has now been sidestepped by this publication of my private email to you, please do not hesitate to contact me and we will be able to resume on our original course.

    Sincerely,

    *2#7!37^^*_09?”;,.OOedjjfPIHU(@(*~L~K88******(37394772%^#%

  116. zee says:

    did this really happen? this guy either needs some serious therapy or someone to whoop the living sh*t out of him. perhaps the whooping could be considered therapy…

  117. “People don’t grow on trees.”

    Investment banker, ha! Nice ruse, TOMMY WISEAU.

  118. Calamity Lulu says:

    My darling Mike,Your cogent and completely reasonable arguments have changed my mind regarding our future.  I see now that a life without your unique brand of class and other attractive qualities would be bleak and meaningless.  I apologize from the bottom of my heart for leading you on by acting like a person with an acceptable level of social competence, and pray that you will demonstrate your forgiveness by meeting me at 357 W 35th Street at a date and time of your choosing so we can start planning our life together.  I wouldn’t want you to get cold waiting outside, so just go in and state who you are.  I’ll make sure they’re expecting you.Love and kisses,Lauren

  119. guest says:

    This guy clearly isn’t an investment banker, he’s an investment manager.  There’s a huge difference.  Maybe a pointless post but just sayin’!

  120. Hopeful says:

    Dating’s such a tricky business. I think, rather than name-calling, some positive advice would help Mike in the future. Selecting a couple of lines from his email:

    “Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date”. Well, how about designing a proforma. Ask her to complete it before you part company, thus ensuring a response, although I’m sure a reply-paid envelope would secure equally great feedback and would give her something to do on the bus home.

    “I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money”. Why not challenge her to a game of Monopoly, thereby setting up a second date. You’ll be able to demonstrate how effective you are as an investment manager without direct cost to herself. Observe what she selects as her counter as a guide to gifts to entice her on a third date – would she like a car? A puppy? A yacht? How does she react to your going to jail – sympathy? Barely restrained mirth? Charity? Comment on her intelligence when she gets the “Chance” card in which she wins second prize in a crossword competition. Object profusely when you get the “Beauty contest” card, and insist she takes it. You get the picture.

    “I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did”. Be diligent with your hair-playing observations and be very specific. Might she be attempting to remove some of it in disbelief? Might there be an underlying scalp condition? Where does the hair attach to her skin? Head? – Good. Upper lip? – Bad. lower abdomen? – Excellent. Chest? – Bad. Feet? – Hobbit.

    “I assume that you find me physically attractive”. Assume nothing. Rely on the proforma for this type of feedback. Include it as a specific question and ask for a rating out of 10.

    “You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future”. Learn to play an instrument, and play it well. Very well. Very well indeed. Imagine her delight if she were to arrive at a performance and suddenly realise that she’s met the ukelele soloist.

    “I’m open minded and flexible”. Never introuduce these facts until at least the third date, cheeky.

    Hope that helps.

  121. This whole notion of free trade is phoney. We are becoming a nation of financial services companies All these companies do is recycle money. The result is no useful products and services are being produced or sold. The idea that the bedrock of the united states economy can be a country of bankers financial planners financial researchers dealing with numbers marketing consultents’ lawyers is completly false. I could go on and on but I need not. The intangable economy of sorts must be replaced with a economy that produces or provides useful products and services that are really needed. Otherwise we will end up with a few bright CPA’s with master degrees siting behind desks making a good living and everybody else cleaning the carpeting and emptying the wast paper baskets.For three dollars an hour.

  122. tina says:

    scary guy…creepy

  123. Chicago Coltrane says:

    “No” comes in many forms. One of our jobs as we mature is to learn to recognize and accept the various forms of “No.” Lack of a response is clearly a “No” (albeit less polite than owning up to it verbally). “It was nice to meet you” is not a strong sign of interest. Unless it’s said with genuine enthusiasm, it’s often a “No, thank you.” Not hearing from someone is almost always a “No,” at least for the present months, especially if he/she can certainly reach you if desired. Failure to show up is a “No” unless followed quickly by an apology and an attempt on his/her part to get together again. “Some other time” is a “No” unless she/he communicates a genuine desire to go out with you, and that time rolls around in a month or so.

    While in an ideal world, everyone would verbalize a polite “No,” in the real world, that doesn’t always happen, and it’s our responsibility as recipients of the less polite “No’s” to recognize them and accept them for what they are, and move on. Failure to accept and move on usually has high costs to us and little upside. When we are the recipient of an unwanted “No,” it’s healthy to remember that, in the end, it’s an odds game, and the more people you get to know, the more likely you are to hear “Yes.”

  124. Anonymous says:

    This guy is both insecure and self-obsessed.  He probably practices omphaloskepsis from the inside.  Assuming he’s that flexible, of course.

  125. Matt Blowers says:

    Ummm…  Hey dude, get a life.  Making a list of why you think she is a good match for you is creepy (you never once mention what you like about her).  Woman want confidence, something you seem to lack.  If she’s busy, and goes to concerts by herself, she’s got confidence in spades.  You claim you’ve made mommy and daddy millions, how much have you made for you?  Proving that she led you on by actions (that you have read on the internet might mean she is interested, articles written for guys that don’t have a clue about women) with your list is counterproductive.  One date and you’re already thinking long term commitment, back off Romeo.  Here’s a thought:  Drop your agenda, forget what you’ve read in your “just do a search in Google” findings, and try going out with a woman just to get to know them.  IF you like them and IF they like you in return you might have something to start with.  

  126. WellesleyUnmarriedHag says:

    She will castrate nice guys for a few years- wake up – look in the mirror and go runnin for botox etc. Her window of abusing nice guys is so short its hilarious. Letters come and go- someone sees this letter as an opportunity to meet a nice guy- laugh all you want. The real joke is on the woman with the chipmunk cheeks, Pinnochio chin and chicklet teeth. Boozed out hags are a dime a dozen. The only dates they have are gay males who after the event trash the best woman friends to their partners.

  127. EV Houndstooth says:

    Hey I know her – saw her in PB at an AA mtg.half in the bag trying to pick up a husband.

  128. Zimthebean says:

    Holy crap, I have done shit like this before, even as I knew it would alienate her.  Wow.  Best avoid me, ladies; I’m a psycho-thinker.  If you’re hot enough.  Sheesh.

  129. Wytunison says:

    Mike, here’s a tip, get a life.

  130. Gambian, the giant rat says:

    there once was an amorous banker,
    who turned out to be a big wanker,
    he dated a gal, whom he thought was his pal,
    and now all he wants is to spank her…

    Theo, you inspired me but with only a minute to give, that’s all i got…. good thing I didn’t attempt haiku at 7 am – could have hurt myself.
     

  131. AbelsAngel says:

    this guy is a mook. if a woman constantly plays with her hair she is bored. if she plays with it once or twice she is leading you on

  132. Krysta says:

    I think everyone needs a stalker.  I could definately use some attetntion right now.

  133. Zimtran says:

    If I was a chick, I’d be so very creeped out by this letter !  In fact I’d be tempted to just stop dating.