The Fuck Buddy

For people in relationships, gift-giving is like a taking a test on their mate’s tastes and desires. But for the millions of Americans believed to be living in less conventional arrangements, the right gift can help confuse their partners and obfuscate their feelings. If you want to keep hanging out but don’t want to seem emotionally needy, a generic gift like a Brooks Brothers tie or a bottle of Veuve Clicquot says, “I look forward to your continued business in 2012.” For a winking acknowledgment of your shambolic relationship, try a tacky version of the gift you would have gotten her if she had let you call her your girlfriend. Like this number from the Jane Seymour “Open Hearts” collection at Kay Jewelers ($169.99 at The most appropriate gesture, however, might be to simply regift the Penguin Classic you got from your other hookup buddy. Just like his HPV.