The Incompetent Assistant

He started out great, but lately your assistant has been flubbing your lunch reservations, jamming up your line, and cc-ing where he ought to bcc . You’re pretty sure his cryptic tweets are about you, and that would be grounds for dismissal, but the thought of breaking in a new one is too daunting. Scare him straight by pairing his annual holiday bonus (ever-so-slightly smaller than last year’s), with something that could be interpreted as a parting gift, like a nice pen, a new piece of luggage, or the Dr. Seuss graduation classic, “Oh The Places You’ll Go!” ($12.23,