There was a lot to trudge through, and a whole lot of irony, so this is by no means definitive. Some of these have been cut down, out of pity for Ms. Roiphe.
-“Awww, poor Katie! Some mean pewson got her tewwibly, tewwibly sad.”
-“If only Al Gore had invented the internet earlier. Imagine all the attrocities that could have been prevented if bloodthirsty dictators had a socially acceptable outlet for their vitriol. Also, our war hero memorials would be dedicated to freelance writers.”
-“This whole article is really just a middle-finger to readers in general. I don’t have the slightest feeling of anger towards you, just despair in the knowledge that people regurgitate stupid nonsense like this. Give just a little bit of credit to your fellow humans, for pete’s sake.”
-“Usually, the ‘angry’ comments follow an article that readers consider to be full of bias, incompetence, inaccuracies or is generally useless. Take your article above for example. We all have the right to express our opinions. Yeah, there are a lot of people who are angry. Perhaps rather than talking down to them in such a condescending manner as you have in this article, you could listen to what they are angry about.”
-“Wow, project much? People hate the writer because they’re jealous? I’ve seen a lot of anger in comments, but I’ve NEVER seen it directed at a writer because he/she is a writer. Isn’t it just possible that much of the anger is because what the author has written is flat-out wrong, inaccurate, self-serving, smug, or some obnoxious combination thereof? Or that people get upset when they see someone who is actively working to make the world a dumber place? No, I suppose not: it isn’t that angry commentators dislike the sloppy, misguided ignorance on display in a piece, it’s that their precious time has been wasted. I guess I must be a member of this new and fascinating species, because after reading this article, I hate the writer myself.”
-“stop writing crap, Katie. The mean comments will decrease exponentially, I promise.”