Gwyneth Paltrow Literally Selling GOOP

132189688 Gwyneth Paltrow Literally Selling GOOP

Gwyneth Paltrow: She's just like us! (Getty Images)


Gwyneth Paltrow, the lifestyle writer/lifestyle coach/lifestyle lifestyle/actresses from Iron Man II and Sliding Doors, is such a giver. Her heart is almost too big, you know? Like she’s always trying to teach the common plebeians who read her newsletter GOOP how to live life to its fullest. (Hint: Buy $82 pajamas for your children; be Gwyneth Paltrow; rinse and repeat.)

And how much does she charge for this service? $100? 1,000 baby seal skins? No way! She likes to give her fans this advice for free…not including the charge of the products she’s hawking, of course.

This week, join us as we check out Ms. Paltrow’s magic GOOP cleanse diet/facial creme! Because you are fat.

Here’s the pitch:

Next week, when it’s back to the grind with work and the daily school run, I’m starting off with Clean, my go-to cleanse from Dr. Alejandro Junger, with whom goop has partnered for the month of January. I’ve used Clean in the past with great results, losing a few pounds and kickstarting a healthier and more energetic New Year. This month, I’ll be doing it along with members of the goop team and we hope you will too. And, it goes without saying, but be sure to check with your doctor before getting started!

Love,
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That’s right, Ms. Paltrow, who just wrote a book about how much she loves food (though she’d rather have her children smoke crack than eat less than gourmet cheese) thinks you could stand to lose a few pounds. We’re sorry, but how do cleanses give people energy? Aren’t they just cayenne pepper and water with some lemon for every meal?

Not Clean, apparently. This is the formula that’s not only good for you, but requires your doctor’s approval before taking. Just like broccoli! Here’s how it works:

The cleanse arrives within a few days after purchase and consists of a tasty protein shake and several supplements that help digestion, rebuild beneficial bacteria, and eliminate toxins. For 21-days you’ll have a shake for breakfast, a solid meal for lunch from a list of foods Dr. Junger recommends, a shake for dinner and your Clean supplements throughout the day.

So basically, it’s the Jenny Craig diet, but with Gwyneth’s seal of GOOPY approval? Where do we sign up?