In either a brilliant marketing maneuver or the most creative use of fan fiction we’ve seen in awhile, Saturday Night Live‘s Nightlife Correspondent, Stefon, is now reviewing real bars and clubs on Yelp. Yaaaay Stefon!
So far there are only four entries, and while they don’t always hit the exact notes of absurdity without Bill Hader cracking up in the middle of them, we are still obligated by comedy law to post anything tangentially related to the best character to come out of SNL since Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar.
Sample listing of Pete Wentz’s joint, Angels & Kings:
NEW YORK’S HOTTEST BAR IS ANGELS & KINGS!
Although it should be called Angels & Queens! Scandalous!! (Pete Wentz is a giving loverrrrr).
Located in the middle of the fountain in Washington Square Park, this pan-sexual portauthoriparty is the creation of Italian club owner Tranny Hall.
And this place has everything:
Mr. Miagi impersonators, skinny cholos, a jacuzzi of expired milk, a Polynesian nanny who looks like Smokey Robinson…
…and look who just walked in!
Is it Natalie Portman? No! It’s an old Irish Black man we all call “Murphy Brown”!
Plus, if you come on Sundays, you can meet the two year-old Ultimate Fighting champion Drooly Lips Jackson – he’s got fists like little empanadas!
…And he’s my best friend.
All this and a serious chumbucket circle jerk with Fallout Boy’s own Pete Wentz, who likes to hang out in the back room and take photos of his own penis with his cell phone in a mirror while wearing women’s makeup and crying.
We shall, Stefon. We shall.