You brought this on yourself, Internet
Today, Rebecca Greenfield wrote a piece for The Atlantic Wire titled “Why The ‘S— Girls Say’ Meme Will Never Die.” This statement flies in the face of most other bloggers’ theory/desperate hope that “The Shit ____ Say” (Insert ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, location, religion, self-identification, or combination of the above into that blank spot) has already hit an saturation point in viral culture and will soon be as passe as Chocolate Rain parodies.
“‘Shit Girls Say’ will live on because anything can be fitted into its mold and still entertain,” Ms. Greenfield writes. “The meme only requires finding a type and having them repeat common sayings that the rest of the world will recognize and find borderline offensive yet amusing.”
Ms. Greenfield also makes note that the trend has already started adapting to TV and film characters: Shit Liz Lemon Says was put out by NBC, and a Maggie Smith/Downton Abbey version:
And while listicles of the best/worst versions of any meme can be as ubiquitous (and annoying) as the content in question, the sheer number of parodies that have popped up in the month since the original Shit Girls Say video premiered means that some of the more niche versions remain woefully under-seen.
So here is the definitive list of the 10 most random and obscure versions of Shit Girls Say. Until tomorrow, when “Shit Gay Hipster Mormon Yogis Who Love Buffy Say” drops and blows the rest of these suckers away.
10. Stuff Preachers Say
(When dealing with religion, “Shit” is invariably turned to “Stuff.” So as not to offend God.)
9. Shit Southern Gay Guys Say
The double-parody is always key, albeit being a tad desultory.
8. Shit Meat Eaters Say
There’s a whole sub-subculture of the Shit Vegans/Vegetarians Say theme. One obvious PETA member took offense, and the result is maybe the most unintentionally funny one of the bunch.
7. Shit Indian Girls Say
There are so many variations on ethnicity of women saying shit, but they basically all follow the same formula. No matter what your religion or birth country, all women love Facebook and Twitter, text constantly, want to get married, worry about their weight, and whine constantly. See also: Shit Jewish Girls Say, Shit Asian Girls Say, Shit Spanish Girls Say, Shit Black Girls Say, etc., etc.
6. Shit Lana Del Ray Says
Funny only because Lana Del Ray hasn’t been around long enough to develop any trademark phrases, so she ends up just sounding like Droopy Dog while talking about trailer parks.
5. Shit Traveler Blogger Say
Bravely turning a satirical eye on a very relevant cultural archetype.
4. Shit Delaware Says
We like to take the title literally: This is actually what the state of Delaware would say if it could talk. “I’m so bored!”
3. Shit Morally Confused / Overwhelmed Moms Say
So much better than Shit Babies Say.
2.Shit Slytherins Say to Gryffindors
There are a lot of “Shit ___ Blank Say to ___ Blank,” but we chose this one because it has the added bonus of obsessive Harry Potter fandom.
1. Shit People Say About Shit People Say Videos
Screenplay adapted by Charlie Kaufman.
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