Sorry DirectTV suckers: a whole month of Ryan Gosling movies is not currently available to you on Demand at the low, low cost of $1.99-$4.99, like it is to Time Warner customers. It’s an interesting business model for Valentine’s Day, and culture writers Daniel D’Addario and Drew Grant are here to tell you why.

Drew: Okay so: thoughts on a on Demand Ryan Gosling month?
Daniel: Hello drew
Daniel: I am glad you asked
Daniel: Because
Daniel: I don’t think this is news! On Demand does this ALL THE TIME
Daniel: Like, I think a few months ago my system had a “Sandra bullock” category
Daniel: So, bully for him i s’pose
Drew: Ha
Daniel: But the like “news reports” on this are confusing
Drew: Well my thought is, if you’re going to pay $4.99 just buy the damn Notebook already
Daniel: This is a philosophical debate about OnDemand we may never resolve
Drew: Like, giant Ryan Gosling fans probably own all the Ryan Gosling movies, and if not, they can go on airplane and watch them
Daniel: Airplane?
Drew: Yeah, every time I’m on an airplane, Crazy Stupid Love is playing
Daniel: Ha
Daniel: I never travel SO.

Drew: See, this is also why I’m glad I have DirectTV
Daniel: Why’s that?
Drew: Because I have spent my life actively avoiding Ryan Gosling movies.
Drew : I think he’s stupid-looking.
Daniel: Ho ho.
Daniel: Well
Daniel: He definitely makes stupid choices
Daniel Crazy Stupid Love is actively a bad movie
Daniel: And the only way I think it can be sold at this point is to Ryan Gosling fans
Drew: IT IS! Except for Marisa Tomei.
Drew: People seem to think he’s very deep
Drew: But i think he looks like a lacrosse player
Drew: Who is in AP English maybe
Daniel: I actually am coming around to appreciating this OnDemand business
Daniel: Because
Daniel: It highlights that he is a commodity
Daniel: That you can ~buy~
Drew: Yes
Daniel: The discourse around Ryan Gosling is that he is Different, Man
Daniel: And like
Daniel: He’s a dummy like all of them
Drew: LET ME PURCHASE 5 HOURS OF GOSLING
Daniel: STEALING THE REMOTE FROM YOU
Daniel: Also uhhh
Daniel: Remember the titans is in there
Daniel: Remember the titans is a denzel movie SORRY
Drew: TOO LATE WE ARE WATCHING YOUNG HERCULES
Daniel: OMG was he in that?
Drew: Yes!
Daniel: I thought he was better than that
Drew: That is the new thing that everyone knows
Daniel: I thought he sprung fully formed from the rib of Nicolas Winding Refn
Daniel: Just kidding, he dates Eva Mendes and he’s used to sell movies that you can only watch for 24 hours bye
Drew: Why Nicolas Cage? Because they are both in tons of movies and wear hats, sometimes?
Drew: Is it because they both believe in ghosts?
Daniel: (Nicolas Winding Refn is the director of drive)
Drew: Oh, I thought you said Nic cage.
Daniel: Also true
Drew: I think because there was an SNL segment once
Drew: Where Jude Law called Andy Samberg’s Cage “Ryan Gosling on crack”
Daniel: Hahaha
Daniel: Well
Daniel: idk
Daniel: If he’s your boy more power to you
Drew: Because they are both in all the movies
Daniel: But I don’t get it, and I also don’t get like, making a big deal over a marketing strategy
Drew: Which makes this Demand thing real easy
Daniel: Right
Drew: I’d like to see them do something difficult
Daniel: Well
Daniel: That would not sell
Daniel: Digital movies
Daniel: For a night in with yr ladiez
Drew: Like a month of Joe Pantoliano films

Daniel: LOL “just the matrix, every night, for 31 days”
Drew: Also Memento
Daniel: I’m glad we had this talk
Drew: Go, have fun watching Crazy Stupid Matrix Love
Daniel: Ummm i always do
Drew: I’ll just be here, trying to think of other Gosling titles.
Daniel: I spend $4.99 a day
Drew:
Daniel: Just so Ryan can be with me always.
Drew: for us all.

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