Nothing Says Romance Like a Damien Hirst Spot Painting

Your life will probably be more like this if you go to Gagosian gallery on Valentine's Day.

Apparently, there’s this thing called “Valentine’s Day” happening next week. Presumably, it happens every year and involves things like flowers and chocolate and expensive dinner and has an overall subtext of possible “romantic sex.”

Ostensibly, if one was “single” and “alone,” this day serves as nothing but a reminder of those very traits. If one happened to be in a “relationship,” it’s usually a day when you try to spend money in order to cover up the fact that you are in an insufferable “partnership” that is going to end in one or the other person leaving, subsequently ruining the month (or year) of both “partners.” So: what better way to celebrate the prospect of a long life spent living with more than two cats that leads to nothing more than a solitary and pointless death than with a tour of contemporary art in Chelsea!

The Municipal Art Society of New York is hosting a tour of a few galleries on Feb. 14 for all you lovebirds or desperately lonely people looking for just one good thing to happen to them and would accept any kind of situation that might lead to a miraculous chance encounter that would radically change their lives like in that John Cusack movie Serendipity.

On the line-up is everyone’s favorite romantic getaway Gagosian gallery, who as many of you know is showing all Damien Hirst spot paintings. There’s also the lover’s den of Steven Kasher Gallery, showing Weegee’s photographs. And finally, that paragon of romance, David Zwirner Gallery, displaying a light installation by Doug Wheeler. Yep, nothing like monotonous spots, images of violent death and trippy light shows to throw some kindle on the flames of l-o-v-e.

As for us over here at Gallerist, we’ve never heard of this “Valentine’s Day” thing before just now. It sounds awful.

Nothing Says Romance Like a Damien Hirst Spot Painting