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Nine Characters Mad Men Could Have Cut In Its Premiere

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By Daniel D'Addario 3/23/12 9:00am
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  • The specter of mortality
    Start The Slideshow

    Mad Men has been off the air since October 2010–a lengthy absence prolonged in part due to protracted negotiations between creator Matthew Weiner and AMC over the show’s budget. Perhaps Mr. Weiner could have cut a few characters to save money, after all? If there happens to be another struggle before season six, we have a few suggestions!










  • Back Forward Betty Draper

    Betty Draper

    No reason why she’s really relevant anymore—but maybe she’s not even in this episode at aaaaaaall! Is just teasing about the notion of a spoiler, itself, a spoiler?

  • Back Forward Minor characters exchanging period-specific banter at parties

    Minor characters exchanging period-specific banter at parties

    We won’t reveal if it’s about Johnson’s plans for Vietnam, the ascendant Nixon campaign, or a triumph-of-makeup flash-forward season where all the guests at a party trade barbs how Bill Clinton should resign to spare the country the nightmare of an impeachment trial. Either way, we’re tired of wondering if Americans were ever so innocent!

  • Back Forward The clients of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

    The clients of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

    Save on the show’s guest-star budget by making a shoestring ad agency run by a bunch of alcoholics as successful as it, theoretically, ought to be!

  • Back Forward Joan Holloway

    Joan Holloway

    Well, the only thing we can say about Joan is [spoilers redacted].

  • Back Forward Ken Cosgrove

    Ken Cosgrove

    Didn’t he used to be, like, a short-story writer? Why did we presume he’d quit the company?

  • Back Forward Cigarettes

    Cigarettes

    When, exactly, was that Surgeon General’s warning? Couldn’t AMC just, like, have Don Draper meet a young C. Everett Koop and save a whole bundle on weird fake actors’ herbal cigarettes?

  • Back Forward The youngest two Draper children

    The youngest two Draper children

    Honestly, did YOU remember the Drapers had more than one child?

  • Back The specter of mortality

    The specter of mortality

    Getting writers who can write for this enigmatic recurring character has got to be pretty expensive!

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