It’s finally time to break out the fans, air conditioning window units and anything else that helps cool off sweltering New Yorkers. Memorial Day weekend brought some wonderful weather, though not as nice as the view coming in from Cannes. As the film festival closes, we look back on one of our favorite moments: Alec Baldwin’s pre-elopement declaration to fiancé Hilaria Thomas, whom he plans to whisk away once he’s finished screaming at Harvey Weinstein. The anger-management sessions seem to be working, though: it only took one day for the notoriously hot-headed actor and the even more bearish producer to kiss and make up via handwritten letters of apology.
Unfortunately, British Airways forgot to leave a note for Kim Kardashian when they rifled through her bags during a trip to the French coast the reality star was taking with boyfriend Kanye West. According to Ms. Kardashian, items of “sentimental value” were stolen from her suitcase. We can’t even imagine what the purloined pieces might be, but we’re guessing that at least one of them might be a plaster of paris replica of Ray J—or certain parts of him, anyway. The man who put Ms. Kardashian on the map with a dirty video that went viral only recently recovered, after a perilous hospital stay, from an almost-fatal blood clot.
But if we wanted to talk about Sex Lies and Videotape, we would have gone to see Mexican director Carlos Reygadas’ controversial Post Tenebras Lux, which was greeted by boos from an outraged audience. Apparently no one wants to watch a movie involving animal torture, orgies and demon genitalia these days. Ms. Kardashian’s sex tape? Sure. That? No way. It’s just too hot—in both senses.