All over Twitter, and Tumblr, and email and Instant Message, media folks are passing around a new Tumblr they are wasting their precious time laughing at today.
Welcome to Editor Real Talk: It’s a series of GIFs with captions that cannily take note of the various euphemisms employed in newsrooms by editors (and what those euphemisms actually mean), or how editors are secretly reacting to certain situations. It’s basically the Texts With Bennett of media people, except with far more truth to it.
WHEN A LIQUOR COMPANY SENDS US SAMPLES
The implication here is that being sent free liquor is very exciting, because most people who work in media are generally amiable, little monsters (hence, the Muppets) who also happen to be ravenous, freeloading alcoholics. It is funny because it is generally true.
Another one? Sure.
WHEN I SAY “SOMEONE SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE THAT PIECE”
The idea being conveyed here is that when editors come up with purportedly “brilliant” ideas and then say the words “someone should totally write that piece,” they are not actually suggesting that anyone could and should write said piece, they are indicating that the person or people in their immediate vicinity will write that piece. These words can also follow a writer casually tossing out an idea, like, say, “You know what’s funny? Media couplings. How odd are they!” which you say jokingly because you have to say something but some editor seizes the moment and their eyes light up and they say “someone should totally do that” and you’re like “Do what, arbitrarily rank them?” and they smile by which they mean “you have spoken the monster’s name, the monster is now yours to feed” (the lesson being that if you work in a newsroom never suggest anything unless you have already started working on it because you so desperately want to, otherwise, you will end up working on it).
Again, this all rings of very distinct truths.
We don’t know who’s doing this one [UPDATE: We do now, see below.], but it is very, very good and should probably be on every aspiring media employee’s required reading list prior to employment in any media workplace. We have heard that Jenna Wortham of the New York Times is working on this, but one factor ruling her out is that Wortham is not a top-editor, and thus, might not have the time to do this* because she has work to do all day.
At this point, everyone
(A) In the top-tenth of their masthead,
(B) With a door to their office,
(C) With an assistant or deputy,
(D) Taking more than five meetings a week, none of which are with sources
are suspect. Please tell us who is doing this. Please.
*NOT-A-TOP-EDITOR REAL TALK.
UPDATE: As we published this, the writer of Editor Real Talk came out a few minutes before. Why so soon, Ann Friedman, Executive Editor of GOOD Magazine? DID YOU ALREADY GET A BOOK DEAL? Either way, well done, and while we are relieved you are not anybody we work for and feel bad for your no doubt euphemism-plagued writers, you could’ve been anyone. Really. This is that good/true/funny/terrible.
firstname.lastname@example.org | @weareyourfek