But it’s not all bad news. Or, at the very least, it could always be worse. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West could be advertising their nuptials, as Us magazine has rumored. How would you even begin shopping for the couple who literally has everything, and then a backup set, covered in gold? The only thing Kim Kardashian needs right now is an annulment from her last husband, Brooklyn Net Kris Humphries. Apparently the power forward is asking for his engagement ring back from the reality show star. Which is not only déclassé, but completely delusional. We all know that the real provider in that 72-day whirlwind marriage wasn’t Mr. Humphries, it was E!
And we have to wonder what happens when Mr. Humphries plays in his new Brooklyn home, only to find the Nets part-owner (and Mr. West’s friend and mentor) Jay-Z sitting in the front row. It must be awkward, though not as awkward as when The New York Post let Phil Mushnick write a column about it. Last Friday, the longtime sports writer gave us his brilliant analysis of what the team would be like, now that they have a new home and are headlined by a rap artist. The piece only used the N-word once, and Mr. Mushnick doesn’t know what problem is! Casual racism: it’s not just for HBO’s Girls (or at least, the writers of the show).
Between the Nets and all the puns on Jeremy Lin’s name, the Post has probably filled its quota of race-related offensiveness for the month. That’s not to say you should cancel your subscription to Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid quite yet. How else would you know that Pippa Middleton might be moving to New York? It’s not like you can wiretap her phone yourselves!
But before sports fans get too down about the welcoming committee that greets the Nets as they relocate from New Jersey, let’s not forget to congratulate The Rangers for making it to the playoffs! It’s a rare thing to find jaded city dwellers excited about hockey (unless they are transplants from Canada). It’s almost as unheard of as having an athlete succeed at hosting Saturday Night Live. Neither can happen more than once a season, either. (But you’re in luck, Tim Tebow: Eli Manning fumbled.)
While we wait for the clouds to part this damp spell we’ve been having, we also mourn the loss of two great artists this week: the Beastie Boys’ Adam Yauch, whose battle with cancer ended on Friday, and Where the Wild Things Are artist and author Maurice Sendak. Both will be missed, even as we celebrate the enormous contributions they made to our youth. (Okay, middle age, for several of us.) So on this rainy day, pick up your mood by reverently playing Licensed to Ill at top volume for the next 48 hours straight (if your neighbors complain, tell them to have a little more respect) and let the wild rumpus start!
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