Low Stakes

146065144 Low Stakes

Cut off by the owner of his establishment.

What a disappointing weekend for fans of horse-racing: Ticket holders were at an all-time high for the Belmont Stakes on Saturday when it was announced the day before that the potential Triple Crown winner, I’ll Have Another, wouldn’t actually be going for another round. The horse was officially retired, according to owner J. Paul Reddam and trainer Doug O’Neill during Friday’s press conference, thanks to a case of front-leg tendinitis. Ouch. (Luckily, they don’t shoot horses—do they?)

Suddenly, most of the 100,000 patrons planning to storm the Belmont were less than interested in making the trek out to Saturday’s races. We heard rumors of ticket prices dropping to $1 as people tried to unload their seats quicker than their bids on a lame mare. In the end, all that anticipation—post-Preakness and Kentucky Derby—turned out to be an All-or-Another affair. Does anyone even know which horse wiped up the winnings?

Well, one crippled horse doesn’t have to ruin the whole weekend. There were plenty of other games afoot: Chris Brown and Rihanna circling each other at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club, watching the Heat beat the Celtics; the soccer match between Croatia and Ireland that had New York Giants lineman David Diehl so intoxicated that he had a fender bender with his BMW—and then tried to lie his way of the accident to the police; and the Manny Pacquiao and Tim Bradley boxing match, of course.

Still, none of these games could hold a candle to the Belmont Stakes we had imagined in our minds: One in which the climatic scene involved I’ll Have Another winning by a horse’s hair, and the film right’s immediately optioned by the Weinstein Brothers.