July 30 is National Cheesecake Day, truly a holiday that’s been commercialized far more than better known calendar events like Valentine’s Day or Christmas.
How about this year we forgo the laziness of picking up a cream cheese concoction from Junior’s and return to our roots by celebrating what makes Cheesecake Day so special in the first place: a chance to extoll on this nation’s obesity epidemic.
We urge you to make today a challenge: actually work for your Cheesecake by going to the most obscure, esoteric, and downright terrible pie places in the city. This quick guide should help…though remember, no batter licking.
IHOP's "Cheesecake Stuffed Pancakes"
It's pancakes with cheesecake filling, which sounds delicious, but you know...it's IHOP. Now that there is an LES location, you too can experience the fine dining described in BoingBoing as: " Water, water, water. Clean it out. Focus. Concentrate. Oh look! I forgot about my side of sausage!"
Tik Tok Diner
Literal flies on the pie . Hey, they're not bad for protein, but this eatery next to The New Yorker building is more likely to churn your stomach than make it rumble.
Lindy's "World Famous" Cheesecake
Once renowned for its cream cheese confection, Lindy's has slid downhill in recent years, with out-of-state reviewers appalled by the high price ($10 for a slice) and the so-so quality of the dessert.
Red Mango Raspberry Cheesecake
"Nonfat, probiotic" yogurt cheesecake. Need we say more?
Asia Kan's Fried Cheesecake
This Zagat's-rated sushi joint made one fatal flaw in an otherwise perfect menu...if we wanted fried heart attacks, we'd get them at Coney Island, thank you.