S.S. Coachella: California Concert Promoter Brands Cruise Lines

Going On High Seas to Avoid High Tax

142985016 S.S. Coachella: California Concert Promoter Brands Cruise Lines

Imagine this…on a boat! (Getty Images)

Big news this evening from Goldenvoice, the promoter of the annual three-day music festival in Indio, CA.: Get ready for S.S. Coachella, two theme cruises that will take sea-faring hipsters from Florida to the Caribbean beginning in December.

Because that’s exactly what Coachella was missing, right? An inability to escape the hoards of drunken hipsters, quasi-celebrities, and obnoxious music bloggers, maybe combined with some Activity Coordinators from Carnival Cruise lines and the decor of Austin Power’s penthouse?

Last year Coachella brought in $47.3 million in revenue (mostly in bottled water purchases), but a proposed  “amusement tax,” made by an enterprising city councilman in Indio, may have harshed the buzz of Goldenvoice, as well as its parent company, AEG Live.

Though the announcement wasn’t supposed to be made until 6 p.m. (PST), the story was scooped by The New York Times an hour ago, and two hours ago  GoldenVoice put up the news on Coachella’s Facebook page. (Right now the official site is loading very slowly, probably from the amount of people just dying to sign up for this, so maybe give it 15 and try to reload.)

Rooms start at $700 and just go up from there, with a trip to the Bahamas set for December 16-19th, and Jamaica from the 19th-23rd.

But let’s think of this positively. First of all, Hot Chip, Pulp, and Girl Talk will all be on-board with you, and they have no way of escaping! Plus, it’ll be a lot easier to consume your drugs once you hit international waters. (Not to mention that being on a boat will go a long way towards explaining the copious vomiting that you find even during the landlocked festival.)

Wait, we even have a perfect  name of the festival: “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again Unless They’re Serving Buffet Dinner During Yeasayer’s Set.”